Some people have it hard and some people have it easy.

Of the 233 millionaires in my Rich Habits study, fifty-six were raised in wealthy households and 177 were self-made (41% came from poverty and 59% from the middle-class). The differences in the habits, thinking and decision-making between those who inherited their wealth and those who created their own wealth was, in many instances, very significant.

One of the glaring things I discovered, was that the majority of those who inherited their wealth seemed much more arrogant. Because they were born into money, they took for granted their wealth and they took for granted their amazing life. I got the distinct impression that they felt superior to me and, I suppose, to many others in society who were not born rich. There was a hubris in the way they conducted themselves that seemed to ooze out of them in conversation. And it made me uncomfortable talking to them. I did not enjoy interviewing those millionaires. Plus, I did not learn as much from them as I thought I would. Arrogant people, I learned, make very poor teachers.

The self-made millionaires, on the other hand, were not only a joy to interview, they were a real-life education in what it takes to become successful. What I found most endearing was their humility. Unlike the inherited millionaires, the self-made’s were a humble lot. And I now know why. Success came hard for them. They suffered constant rejection, endured costly mistakes, overcame seemingly insurmountable obstacles and nearly 1/3 of them suffered humiliating failures that almost destroyed their families. Their pursuit of success humbled them.

Despite their success, they remained humble. And they remained humble because they understood all too well that the difference between success and failure was often a very fine line. One separated only by persistence and a never quit on your dreams attitude.

I don’t think you can learn much from inherited millionaires. They don’t have the scars and battle wounds that often teach valuable lessons. The real teachers were the self-made millionaires. Their struggles humbled them and made them great teachers.

Most people have dreams. They dream about being rich. They dream about quitting their jobs and being their own boss. They dream about buying real estate or starting their own company. They dream about living in a beautiful home near the beach, on a lake, in the big city or in the mountains. They dream about being able to afford to send their kids to college.

Dreams are critical to success. But dreams are really just your brain’s way of telling you to get moving.

Self-made millionaires are ordinary individuals. They are just like everyone else, with one major difference. They took action on their dreams. They are dreamers who became doers.

When you take action on your dreams, that means you become fully invested in your dream. It takes over your life. You think about it 24/7, 365 days a year, year in and year out. Self-made millionaires invest everything into their dreams: all of their money, all of their time and all of their emotions.

As a result, they are forced to forgo the immediate pleasures of life. They sacrifice today for tomorrow. Their real underlying dream is really for a brighter future for themselves and for their family. But to get there, they must make sacrifices. They have to struggle and do without in the early going.

I have a client I have been mentoring for some time to become rich. A few years ago she decided to pursue one of her dreams. She took action. After three years of pursuing her dream, she is still struggling every day to survive financially. But in our last meeting it became clear to both of us that if she could survive the next two years financially, she would become very wealthy. There is now light at the end of the tunnel.

That’s what self-made millionaires do. They dream, they take action on their dreams, they struggle to survive financially early on and then they thrive. The hardest part is surviving the journey. But the journey does get easier. And when things start to get easier, that is when you know you are getting close to success. You must survive until you thrive.

When you’re off you know it. You feel tired, down, and you get sick too often. You might also feel lethargic, lacking in motivation or you might even suffer from depression. These are very often symptoms of something big that is wrong with your body. When you’re not feeling right too often, it’s your body’s way of telling you that you have malfunctioning mitochondria.

Mitochondria are ancient bacteria that reside in every cell in the human body. Billions of years ago this bacteria hitched a ride inside our cells. It’s purpose is to produce ATP (Adenosine Triphosphate), the energy that powers every cell within our bodies. The average human cell has between 1,000 – 2,000 mitochondria inside each cell. When that mitochondria is functioning inefficiently you feel like crap all the time. You’re unable to focus and think clearly, causing brain fog.

What’s causing your mitochondria to malfunction?

• You’re not getting enough oxygen – You don’t exercise aerobically every day and your stores of oxygen are low. Mitochondria uses oxygen to create ATP. When you are not getting enough oxygen, your mitochondria are not producing enough ATP to power your body.
• You’re microbiota inside your large intestine is unhealthy – Eating too many carbohydrates and not enough fibrous vegetables can kill good microbiota. If just about every meal you eat lacks vegetables, you are literally starving the good microbiota inside your gut. This impairs your immune system, making you sick too often and could actually lead to cancer, diabetes, heart disease and many other ailments.
• You’re not getting enough sleep – During sleep, your brain does a lot of janitorial work. It recharges your brain cells and clears away the junk inside those brain cells (free radicals and waste produced by brain cells. During sleep, the brain sends out a swat team of immunological cells that rids the brain of unhealthy, dying or malfunctioning brain cells. You need at least four sleep cycles every night in order for your brain to perform maintenance. Each sleep cycle lasts about 90 minutes, so you need a minimum of six hours of sleep every night. Five sleep cycles, or 7.5 hours of sleep a night is optimal.

For more information about how to increase your energy read Head Strong, by Dave Asprey.

When I embarked on my Rich Habits Study I was not content with identifying the Rich Habits of wealthy people. Success habits only get you half way down the field. In order to get down the rest of the field and score, you also need to know what not to do. That is why I also studied the Poor Habits of those struggling with poverty.

Poor Habits anchor you in poverty and affect everyone around you. What are some of the anchors dragging you and everyone around you down?

• Negative Beliefs – Negative beliefs are like apps you download onto your cell phone. They program your thinking and direct your behavior in a very bad way. Worse, they infect those within your social circle. People catch on, the word gets around, and eventually you will find yourself alone and ignored. What are some of the negative beliefs that are acting like an anchor around your neck and dragging you and others down?
  • I’m not smart
  • Poor people can’t become rich
  • Everyone in my family is overweight
  • I’m not lucky
  • I’m not a people person
  • I’m disorganized
  • I fail at everything
• Negative Talk – We are constantly talking to ourselves and others. When the words we use internally (self-talk) are negative, it’s like adding computer code to our negative programming. When the words we use externally (talking to others) are negative, it turns people off. Negative people suck the energy out of everyone they come into contact with. Negative people are simply exhausting to be around. People catch on, the word gets around, and eventually you will find yourself alone and ignored.
• Gossip – Most gossip is negative. When we engage in gossip it telegraphs to others that we cannot be trusted and, thus, should be avoided at all costs. People catch on, the word gets around, and eventually you will find yourself alone and ignored.
• Complaining – Everyone has problems. We are all trying to solve our own problems. When you complain to others about your problems it turns people off because they are overwhelmed trying to deal with their own problems. They don’t need or want to hear about your problems. They don’t have the energy to deal with their problems and your problems at the same time. People catch on, the word gets around, and eventually you will find yourself alone and ignored.
• Financial Mess – There are a lot of reasons why people struggle financially. They spend more than they make, they take on too much debt, they struggle holding onto a job, they mismanage their business, they gamble too much, they drink too much, they have a poor work ethic or they are not self-reliant and depend on the generosity of others to constantly bail them out financially. Those who are unable to manage their finances drag themselves down and everyone around them. People catch on, the word gets around, and eventually you will find yourself alone and ignored.
• Blame Thrower – Blame Throwers do not take responsibility for their life. They blame everyone and everything for their lot in life.  Blame Throwers are by nature selfish individuals who have no control over their lives. People catch on, the word gets around, and eventually you will find yourself alone and ignored.
• Anchored in Ideology – When you are anchored in ideology, you are close-minded and resistant to change. You ignore the ideas, opinions or feedback of others. People catch on, the word gets around, and eventually you will find yourself alone and ignored.
• Needy – Those who are constantly needy are not just anchors around their necks, they are anchors around everyone they come into contact with. People catch on, the word gets around, and eventually you will find yourself alone and ignored.

We are our own worst enemy. Our anchors drag us down and everyone around us. Those anchors act like neon billboard signs that tell others: “I am an anchor who will drag you down”.

Find your anchors and remove them. If you don’t, people will catch on and you will find yourself alone and ignored.

One of the self-made millionaires in my study was very close to illiterate. He struggled reading and writing the English language. Yet, he was able to accumulate $20 million during his lifetime. How?

He hired professionals who were expert in reading and writing English.

The purpose of primary education (elementary school) is to teach kids the fundamentals: reading, writing and arithmetic. Some kids are very good readers, some are bad. Some are good at writing, others not so good. And some pick up math faster than others.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. Primary school helps identify those strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, when the school system identifies a weakness in a student, they then deploy significant resources to help strengthen those weaknesses. That’s how the U.S. education system works – it focuses on strengthening weaknesses and pays very little attention to strengths. And this is the Achilles Heel of the education system.

The path towards success and accumulating wealth is through your strengths.

A strength is anything that comes easy to you. Every individual is born with certain strengths. It’s genetics. We are genetically hardwired with certain strengths. The real purpose of primary education should not be in strengthening our weaknesses but in identifying and exploiting our strengths. Since primary schools don’t do that, the responsibility shifts to you.

The secret to escaping poverty and accumulating enormous wealth, for the self-made millionaires in my Rich Habits study, was in finding one or two strengths and then devoting their lives to leveraging those strengths. They figured out what they were good at, which is typically anything that came easy to them, and then they chose some career path or some business enterprise that allowed them to focus on their strengths.

The path towards success is not eliminating your weaknesses. Ignore your weaknesses. Strengthening your weaknesses only leads to mediocrity. Your innate strengths are your superpowers. Those who focus on their strengths, find success, happiness and wealth. Your innate strengths are life’s way of telling you: “this is what you you were born to do.”  

Painters always start with a big brush. Using a big brush first allows painters to create the initial overall shape of whatever it is they are painting. Once they have their shape completed, only then do they move to the smaller brushes in order to fill in the details of their painting, bringing their painting to life.

Creating the life of your dreams requires the same thing. You must start with a big brush in order to create the outline of the life you desire. This big brush outline focuses on certain basic qualities of the life you desire:

• Financial independence
• Doing work that you love
• Having a loving family
• Living in a beautiful house in a safe neighborhood.

Once you have the outline of the life you desire, only then do you fill in the details:

• Saving 20% of my income until I have $3 million in the bank
• Getting my Certified Financial Planner license so that I can become a successful financial planner
• Finding a loving spouse who desires to start a family
• Buying or building a Victorian home three blocks from the beach

The outline is your WHY. The details are your HOW. Like a painter, you build the life of your dreams by reaching for the big brush first, your WHY, and only after you have defined your WHY do you reach for the smaller brush to define your HOW.

The mistake most make is reaching for the smaller brush first. They put their ladder on someone else’s wall by pursuing some career path a parent or teacher recommended. Only latter in life do you realize that you were pursuing someone else’s WHY. And you’re unhappy with their WHY because it’s not your WHY.

Those who live the life of their dreams always put their ladder on their wall. They reach for the big brush first. That gives them their WHY and the rest, as they say, is just details.

“Genius arrives when you show up enough times to get the average ideas out of the way.” – James Clear

Creativity has little to do with inspiration and everything to do with practice. When you study some of the most successful, creative people who ever lived: Thomas Edison, Nicola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, at the heart of their creativity was the relentless practice of their craft. Every day they invented, tinkered, pondered, experimented or wrote. Their creativity was the fruit of countless hours of toil.

Creators don’t wait to be inspired to create. Rather, they forge ahead every day, practicing and honing their skills until that golden nugget of genius reveals itself. As Thomas Edison famously once said, “genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.”

In order to create anything meaningful in life, you must go at it every day. Historians very rarely focus on the effort behind genius. And that’s too bad because true genius lies not in the result but in the effort that gives birth to the result. 

The latest research on happiness is a real punch in the gut. According to David Buss, psychology professor at the University of Texas, we are hardwired for unhappiness. And we have evolution to blame.

It turns out emotions like unhappiness, jealousy, distress and disgust spurs individuals to improve their conditions in order to return to a state of happiness. Unhappiness drives us to make necessary changes in our lives.

And what may be even worse, happiness is hardwired to be temporary. The purpose of this little evolutionary slap in the face is to prevent humans from becoming too complacent with their happy lives so that they will continue to do things to improve their lives in an effort to chase happiness.

No matter what amazing good things happen in our lives that make us happy, we always revert back to our happiness baseline. That’s why the happiness that results from some good fortune like winning the lottery or inheriting a million dollars or the happiness that we experience from buying something new, doesn’t last very long. If it did, humans would fold up their tents and stop trying to improve their lives.

Being hardwired for unhappiness is why we compete, why we chase dreams, why we go to college, why we start new businesses and why we sacrifice for something better down the road. This very unique, hardwired human trait, drives us to do things that will make us happy.

So, if you’re unhappy with your life, there’s a good reason. Life is screaming at you to grow and improve. It wants you to become a better human being. It’s time you listened to that voice.