“The first million is the hardest.” Berrey, circa 1920

Long before Elon Musk became a household name, he was telling people about his dream of one day going to Mars. Just about everyone ignored his hyperbole. Then he succeeded in launching the first privately manufactured rocket into orbit around earth. Now, he is considered a genius. Today, his words capture the ears of millions. He is quoted. His success altered the perceptions of everyone.

This was a very commonplace event for the self-made millionaires in my study. Until they succeeded, what they did and what they said was virtually ignored by everybody they came into contact with. Until they succeeded.

We quote successful, relevant, world-changer types. When you succeed, you alter the perceptions of everyone you know – family, friends, co-workers, superiors and casual acquaintances. When you succeed, you have gravitas. You become credible. Success makes you matter.

When you matter, you can get things done much easier. Success feeds upon itself. It acts like an accelerant, fueling even more future success.

This is why it is so important to never quit on your dreams. When you persevere and finally break through to realize your first success, it’s a game changer. You gain instant credibility and the ears of those around you. You change everyone’s perception of you. And this makes future success so much easier.

The first success is the hardest. There’s no doubt about it. But once you succeed, it gets much easier. Your success magnetizes you, attracting other successful people to you. It’s as if you were accepted into a very exclusive club, whose membership is restricted to only the successful.

Never quit on your dreams. You only need to succeed once. Success changes everyone’s perception of you. It removes the mountains, clears away the potholes, greases the gears and creates a snowball effect that grows and expands your success and it’s byproduct, wealth.

There are many sharks in the waters, when you are pursuing a dream, or the goals behind a dream. One of those sharks is the charlatan.

Charlatans are individuals who recognize your passion and enthusiasm for your dream and seek only to exploit your passion for their own benefit. The benefit they seek is typically your money but it can also be your expertise, your time or your relationships.

Successful people become expert in vetting people they surround themselves with. This expertise enables them to weed out the charlatans – con artists who intend to use you to help themselves in some way.

Charlatans will waste your time, money and damage your relationships with others. You need to become expert in identifying charlatans because charlatans disrupt your march towards success.

What are the characteristics of charlatans? In my research of self-made millionaires I’ve identified certain traits, certain characteristics that all charlatans possess:

• They Want Something From You – Charlatans want your time, expertise, your money or to tap into your power relationships. Power relationships are individuals inside your inner circle who are influencers and who can open doors for others.
• They Over Promise and Under Deliver – Charlatans sell you a bill of goods that never arrive. They will make you believe they can help you realize your dreams and achieve your goals. Charlatans never deliver on their promises and will waste your time and money.
• Overpowering Personalities – Charlatans have strong, overwhelming personalities. They use their personality to exploit your desires and passions.
• Profuse in Their Approbation – Charlatans drown you in praise as a way of luring you into doing business with them.
• No Value – Charlatans lack real expertise, knowledge and zero power relationships that can help open doors for you.
• Deceptive – Charlatans will deceive you. They will take you down the wrong path.
• Bombastic – Charlatans bang the drums of their triumphs. Only later will you realize they lack any real success of their own.
• Unsuccessful or Struggling Financially – Charlatans are unsuccessful individuals who are struggling financially.
• Have Their Own Mission – Charlatans have one thing in mind – to use you to help them achieve their own dreams and goals.

Those who are not on guard against charlatans will lose time, money and will have to perform triage on their damaged relationships. Those who are aware of the characteristic traits of charlatans will be able to identify them, cast them aside, and continue marching towards success.

To thine own self be true – Shakespeare

Definition of Authenticity – Genuine, real, accurate, to be yourself.

Authenticity is perhaps the most foundational characteristic of successful individuals. When you are authentic, you embrace who you truly are. You don’t pretend to be someone else.

Authentic people accept themselves, with all of their flaws and all of their uniqueness. They have answered the question Who Am I?

Authentic people devote time to studying themselves. Through their self-study, they are able to grasp the essence of who they truly are. Through this self-study process they become aware of their strengths and their weaknesses. 

When you stop pretending to be like others and embrace who you are, life rewards you. People fall in love with individuals who are authentic. They follow authentic people. Authenticity is like a magnet, drawing others to you. It’s a magnet because it’s rare. Be authentic. Study yourself. Acknowledge your flaws, your strengths and your weaknesses. In order to succeed you must be authentic. Authenticity makes people fall in love with you. 

“I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is perseverance.” Steve Jobs

You hear a lot about perseverance when the topic of success pops up. Steve Jobs, Thomas Edison, Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Henry Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger and many other rich, successful people seem to possess this supernatural ability to persevere. When you read their stories you can’t help but shake your head in admiration for their unwavering ability to persevere.

If you spent as much time as I have in studying self-made millionaires, I’m pretty certain you’d see things a little differently. What I see is not some supernatural ability to persevere. What I see are routines. Every successful person I studied built their success and wealth on the back of some very basic daily routines.

Routines are nothing more than certain daily habits that automate success:

• Waking up at 5am every day.
• Reading to learn every day.
• Achieving at least one meaningful goal every day.
• Building relationships, every day, with the right people (family and other success-minded people).
• Exercising aerobically every day.
• Avoiding time wasters every day (TV, Internet, bars, and other non-productive activities).
• Eating healthy every day.
• Practicing some valuable skill every day.
• Working hard every day to make more money.
• Every day devoted to solving some problem or obstacle that is standing between you and success.
• Living a frugal life every day.

Finding a routine that leads to success is how you will succeed. You need to emulate the success routines of other successful people.

Success is not about reinventing the wheel. The path to success is not glamorous. Habits are not glamorous. But having the right habits puts success on autopilot. Good habits give the untrained, outside observer the perception that you are persistent. Habits automate persistence. And persistence is the #1 trait of all successful people.

My parents used to say that when my Grandfather, Pop Pop Dailey, used to walk into the room, it didn’t matter who was in the room. Pop Pop Dailey could command the entire room’s attention. Why? People liked him. He was likable.

People who are likable are magnets. They attract others to them.

In my Rich Habits research, I found several traits that made self-made millionaires likable. In fact, 94% stated that being likable was critical to their success in life.

Turn Ons of Likable People:

• They Are Inspirational
• They Avoid Toxic Talk – They avoid saying anything negative and do not gossip. They keep their conversations upbeat.
• They Focus on Others – They ask individuals questions about their lives and avoided talking about themselves.
• They Are Knowledgable About Current Events – They are up to speed with all the important things that are going on in the world. This makes them interesting.
• They Are Funny – They use humor to break the ice and put others at ease.
• They Are Positive and Upbeat – They have a positive, optimistic attitude.
• They Are Grateful – They talk about the good in life.
• They Are Honest – This makes them trustworthy.
• They Are Open-Minded – They are easy to talk to. They don’t force their opinions on others.
• They Don’t Lose Their Temper
• They Are Modest
• They Are Passionate About Life
• They Are Physically Fit

Turn Offs of Unlikable People:

• Negative Nancy’s – They drag people down with their negative attitude.
• Toxic Talkers – They share negative gossip about others.
• They Talk Too Much About Their Personal Problems – Everyone has problems. No one wants to hear your problems.
• They Are Uninformed – They know very little about what is going on in the world. This makes them uninteresting.
• They Lack Humor – They are not funny. They lack a sense of humor.
• They Are Pessimistic – They are negative and have a pessimistic outlook on life.
• They Lack Gratitude – They talk about what they don’t have. They focus on what they lack.
• They Talk About Themselves – The focus on their own lives. They brag about themselves.
• They are Closed-Minded – They force their opinions on others.
• They Name Drop – They try to make themselves appear to be important by dropping names of important people. This makes them seem pretentious.
• They Lack Passion
• They Seek Attention – They do things that draw attention to themselves.
• They Show Anger – They lose their temper around others. This scares others and pushes them away.

Likability is critical to success. You cannot succeed on your own. You need others to help you. Being likable attacks others to you who may be able to help you.

Love, by definition, is a strong emotional attachment or deep affection for someone or something.

When you love someone or something, you will risk life and limb to protect the person or thing you love. You will devote your life to the person or thing you love. Where there is love, there are no obstacles, hurdles or mountains you will not climb for the person or thing that you love. Love gives you superpowers.

Love also happens to be one of the most important cornerstones upon which you build the foundation for a successful life, happy life. Finding your love will transform you from ordinary to extraordinary:

• Love What You Do – When you find something you love to do, that also happens to provide you with an income, your love will drive you to work harder and sharpen your focus.
• Love of Family – Love of family will drive you to become a better person: more compassionate, more empathetic, more patient, more authentic and more understanding.
• Love of Community – When you love the community in which you live you will devote more time to improving that community. You will volunteer your time and money to community organizations who are helping to improve your community. This will help you forge strong, long-lasting relationships with others in the community. Those relationships will open up doors for you that will help you, your family and your business to thrive.
• Love of Friends – Having a core group of friends you love means you have each others back. They will pick you up when you fall. They will encourage you when you pursue a dream. They will trumpet your success to the world around them. Having friends you love gives your life meaning. It makes life worth living.
• Love of Activities – When you find activities you love to do, those activities help relieve the stress of daily living. They help to clear your head so you can think properly. This could be a sport, painting, writing, singing, running, weight lifting, spin class, piano, guitar, hiking, photography, cooking, speaking, teaching, reading or any number of things that make your heart sing.

Finding the love makes life worth living. It creates a life of fulfillment. It gives your life meaning and purpose.

A friend of mine from my college days just retired from the IRS. He began working for the IRS right out of college. If he reduces his spending and watches his pennies, he told me his retirement income should allow him to get by. He said he’d be able to take one decent vacation a year, so long as it’s inexpensive. I asked him if he was happy and he said he’s happy he no longer has to work but he said he feels like he accomplished nothing with his life.

There’s nothing wrong with playing it safe. There’s safety in numbers. The very reason human beings survived the cave man days was because we organized into herds. We banded together and avoided taking unnecesary risks. And we survived.

Thankfully, there was always at least one or two outliers in every human herd. These outliers took risks that the others dared not take. These risks jeopardized the safety of every outlier.

The very reason humans can fly to the moon, talk to someone thousands of miles away on a phone, flick a switch to turn on the lights or turn a knob and get instant water is because not everyone in the human herd played it safe.

While humans have evolved to play it safe, we are not genetically hard-wired that way. Deep down in each one of us is an adventurer gene. This gene is always fighting to break free from the herd. We are genetically hard-wired to take risks, to explore, to be pioneers. We are not hard-wired to work for the IRS, retire and die. 

If you follow me, read my books or articles or watch or listen to any of my media interviews, it is because of that adventurer inside of you. Deep down you want your life to have significance and meaning. You want to make your mark on this world. Deep down you know that playing it safe will not produce the life you desire. 

In order to create the life of your dreams, you must step outside the herd and take risks in life. You must pursue your dreams, goals and embrace opportunities that frighten everyone else. That is what the self-made millionaires in my study, at some point in their lives, decided to do. They did not play it safe. They stepped outside the herd. They did not play it safe.

I’ve got a lot of hard proprietary data on why the rich are rich and why the poor are poor. Some of the research I’ve gathered centers around the decision-making process of self-made millionaires.

What I found is that self-made millionaires don’t make gut decisions. They don’t “trust their gut”. They mull their decisions over, sometimes for weeks or months, before making them. During this “mulling over” process, they seek out experts, other successful people, business partners or associates, trusted employees and close family members or friends. They are obsessed with gathering as much feedback information as possible before they make a decision. Each person’s feedback is like a puzzle piece. Those puzzle pieces are then carefully assembled to help self-made millionaires see a clear picture of the right course of action.

Once the self-made’s have their clear picture, they make a decision and then take immediate action. So, it might seem to the untrained observer, that quick actions imply quick decision-making, or gut decisions. My research says, not so.

Often, gut decisions turn out to be the right decisions. Particularly for successful people who have been around the block. But just as often, gut decisions can take you off a cliff.

Elon Musk was one of those who was forced to go right when he wanted to go left. PayPal was developed and launched as a money transfer service at Confinity in 1999, funded by John Malloy from BlueRun Ventures. In March 2000, Confinity agreed to merge with X.com, an online banking company founded by Elon Musk. Musk and Malloy reached an impasse on the direction of PayPal. Musk’s gut told him PayPal’s business model was too limited. He wanted PayPal to become an online bank. The PayPal CEO and PayPal VC investor believed that was way beyond the scope of PayPal. Musk would not relent and was forced out. Musk held on to his PayPal stock. PayPal’s “limited” business model eventually went on to enormous success and was purchased by eBay. Musk received a windfall of $200 million from eBay for the stock he owned.

Like Musk, many of the self-made millionaires in my study acknowledged that some of their most critical decisions, the kind that can make or break a business, were forced upon them by others. Their gut told them to go left but their banks, business partners or spouses made them go right. Sometimes our gut decisions are often bad decisions.

All individuals, by virtue of their genes, are born with certain talents that set them apart from others. Finding your inborn, innate talents requires experimentation. Only through experimentation will you discover what those talents are. 

The brain communicates to us the existence of an inborn talent by infusing us with passion when we engage in the activity. Passion acts like a catalyst in driving us to continuously engage in an activity we were born to do. Passion allows us to focus like a laser in perfecting our skill. Passion gives us the emotional energy that enables us to engage in our inborn talents for many hours every day.

Becoming proficient in an activity can take many years, decades or even a lifetime. Innate talents must be fully developed and developing any innate talent can take many years of dedicated practice. Eventually, those who find and perfect their innate talents become experts. And experts are always paid more than others. 

If you are passionate about an activity, if your passion for doing something is WHY you engage in that activity, then you will eventually become expert in that activity because your passion for the activity will motivate you to engage in that activity even when it does not produce immediate wealth.

But when your engagement in any activity is wealth-driven, you’re on the wrong track. When wealth is the primary driver, you will eventually abandon any activity that does not immediately reward you financially.

If your passion is not in the activity but, rather, in the potential wealth that activity can create, then you will cease engaging in that activity when it fails to produce the wealth you expected. You simply will not devote the time that is necessary in developing skills in any activity that is wealth-driven and not passion-driven. This means you will never become expert in any activity that does not produce immediate wealth or the wealth you expected. 

You can simultaneously have a passion for engaging in an activity and a desire to monetize that passion-driven activity. But, the passion for engaging in an activity must be the dominant reason for engaging in the activity. Passion for the activity must be the #1 reason why you engage in the activity so that you will persist in the activity even when there is no money to be made from it. Finding your passion, not wealth, should be your main goal.