The self-made millionaires in my Rich Habits Study had habituated important social skills that helped them forge and grow relationships with those who matter – other sucess-minded people.
Having good social skills acts like a magnet, drawing the right kind of people to you – people who are influencers and who can open doors for you.
In my book, Rich Kids, I shared many of the social skills self-made millionaires learned from their non-rich parents; skills which eventually morphed int habits that helped them build relationships with individuals who became part of their core inner circle. Here’s a short summary, from Rich Kids, of some of the most important social skills:
- Look everyone in the eye for no more than 5 seconds at a time, then divert your glance for another 5 seconds. Staring into others eyes too long, makes them feel uncomfortable. This diverting practice helps keep conversations relaxed and going.
- Ask questions about the lives of others. The Universal Law of Self Interest is hardwired into every human being. People are constantly thinking about themselves. When you focus the conversation on the other person, they immediately begin to like you. Ask them questions about their birthday, their hobbies, their interests, the schools they attended, where they grew up, current family background (married? kids?), where they live, dreams or goals they are pursuing.
- Properly introducing yourself to new people at social events, is critical to building new relationships. Smile and shake their hand while looking them in the eyes. Write down their name in a notebook you carry (writing improves memory retention by marshaling the powers of the cerebellum). In one sentence explain who you are and why you are at the event. Then immediately shift to asking questions about your new future friend.
- Be polite – Yes, Please, Thank You, May I, etc.
- Smile – A lot. Smiling relaxes those you are talking to. Authentic smiling makes you appear uber-friendly.
- To Don’ts: Don’t interrupt others who are talking to you or others. Don’t look at your cell phone while others are talking to you. Don’t look around the room, while others are talking to you. Don’t curse or use inappropriate language.
Success is a process. At the heart of that process are good habits. Forging good social skill habits is important to building relationships.
And Rich Relationships are the currency of the wealthy.
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Excellent snapshot summary about how to be PRESENT with others.