Think back to the worst emotional pain you experienced in your life.
Death of a loved one, a broken heart, business failure, getting fired from a job, divorce?
Whatever it was that took the legs out from underneath you, very likely altered your behavior. It likely caused you to reevaluate your life and make changes.
Were those changes positive or negative? Did they set you on a path that changed your life in a positive way or did they send you spiraling downward?
I’ve learned so many things from studying the habits of self-made millionaires and those struggling with poverty. One of the lessons I learned is that my millionaires had developed a Positive Reaction Rich Habit to negative events.
For these millionaires, negative events were the catalyst for positive change. And those changes helped them achieve enormous success in their lives.
Conversely, those struggling with poverty developed a Negative Reaction Poor Habit to negative events. Painful events became catalysts for isolation, depression, retreat and sometimes addictions.
When I discovered the Positive Reaction Rich Habit during my study, it brought back a very old and very powerful memory of a negative life event that took the legs out from underneath me when I was 19 years old.
A girl broke my heart. It was the first girl I really liked and cared about. I remember feeling like a zombie. Initially, I moped around the house. I isolated myself from my friends and family. I retreated.
As a kid, whenever I lost a baseball game (I was a Pitcher) or whenever I lost a tennis match, I would get very emotional and I would retreat into my room. My father would always come into my room and tell me that the best revenge after losing was to get better.
My father’s words carried great weight with me. He was one of the two most famous baseball players on Staten Island during his high school years. The other great player was Bobby Thomson. Thomson became world famous for the home run he hit off Brooklyn Dodgers pitcher Ralph Branca to win the 1951 National League pennant for the NY Giant’s.
So, at an early age, thanks to my Dad, I adopted the Positive Reaction Rich Habit in order to become better at sports.
Well, a few weeks after my breakup, this Positive Reaction Rich Habit began to kick in.
I joined a local gym and began lifting weights. I also threw myself into my college studies.
Within a two-year period, I had completely transformed my body by adding 15 pounds of muscle. More importantly, my college Grade Point Average increased from a 3.1 to a 4.0. I even made the Dean’s List.
My desire to improve also motivated me to make more money. I increased the number of hours I worked at my part-time janitor job. The extra money I earned made it easier for me to pay for college. It also enabled me to afford to get braces for my teeth, which dramatically improved the way I looked as well as my self-confidence.
How you react to the negative events in your life is habit. If you want to improve your life, you must develop the habit of reacting to negative events in a way that causes you to grow and improve.
Life doesn’t drag you down. It’s the negative reaction to negative events that drags you down.
The circumstances of your life are determined by your habits. They are the key to wealth, health and happiness.
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About Thomas C. Corley
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