We Train Others How to Treat Us


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Selflessness is considered a noble trait. Selfishness, on the other hand, is considered a character flaw. Society reveres the selfless and demonizes the selfish. Those who are selfless are admired by others, while those who are selfish are reviled.

Well, that’s how most of us were programmed to think. In reality, many of those so-called selfless individuals history likes to elevate to near nobility status were anything but selfless. Individuals like Bono (U2), Oprah and Winston Churchill were actually very demanding, obstinate and self-centered. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s a good thing.

You see, if you want to be respected and treated properly by others you must train them to respect and treat you properly. Below are a few guidelines for training others to treat you with the respect you deserve:

  • Stop saying yes to everything. Saying no sends a message that your time is valuable. The occasional no lets others know that they cannot walk all over you. It takes courage to say no. Don’t let fear hold you back. No is like a stop sign that says “I am not your slave”. Saying yes to everything is another sign that says “I am your slave”. Saying yes all the time trains others to walk all over you.
  • Don’t give into others just to get along. Surrendering all the time to the will of others sends a powerful message that you are weak. Be obstinate every now and then. It lets others know that you are a force to be reckoned with, that you are strong and confident. Giving in trains others that you are weak.
  • Don’t vacillate. Stand your ground on things you believe in. If you constantly change your mind or allow others to change your opinion you send a message that you can be manipulated. You train others to manipulate you.
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Thomas C. Corley About Thomas C. Corley

Tom Corley is a bestselling author, speaker, and media contributor for Business Insider, CNBC and a few other national media outlets.

His Rich Habits research has been read, viewed or heard by over 50 million people in 25 countries around the world.

Besides being an author, Tom is also a CPA, CFP, holds a master’s degree in taxation and is President of Cerefice and Company, a CPA firm in New Jersey.
Phone Number: 732-382-3800 Ext. 103.
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