We’ve all experienced it. Someone at work, at home or in your inner circle simply unloads on you for some reason. You may have done something to trigger the outburst or the anger is unwarranted or exaggerated.
Most respond by getting angry and will either internalize or externalize their own anger. But before you do, you should know this statistical fact: three out of every five individuals you come into contact with in life are going through a personal crisis of some sort.
It could be an illness in the family, a financial problem, an unexpected pregnancy, marital problems, etc. It may very well be that you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when this someone unloaded on you.
Armed with this knowledge, the best course of action is to not react at all. Simply acknowledge the other person’s anger, apologize for whatever they think you did to them and forget about it. In all likelihood, if it turns out to be just that, a personal crisis they were going through, they will eventually apologize or come close to apologizing.
But I don’t want to become a doormat, allowing people to walk all over me.
This is a completely different issue. If an individual repetitively unloads on you, this is not crisis driven. This is habit driven. These types of individuals are locked into a negative mental outlook. They will continue to unload on you and make your life miserable. Misery does love company.
In this case you have two choices:
- Tell them to stop and get control of their emotions and come back to discuss the matter when they have regained their composure. This will work in most cases. But if it does not work then you have to move on to the second choice.
- Eliminate this negative individual from you life.
There are some individuals who simply have developed the bad habit of expressing their anger. These individuals function from a negative mental outlook and will eventually drag you down and turn your life into a living hell. You do not want to associate with negative people. You want to only associate with positive individuals. Negative people will drag you down and make you negative. Positive people will lift you up and make you positive. It is the Law of Association at work.
About Thomas C. Corley
At different times in my life I have been confronted with people who just trip, out as I term it. I didn’t know where it was coming from. A boss giving me a look of annoyance or something like that would spin me out for most of my day. As I’ve gotten older I remind myself of the very things you’ve written. It’s not me. Just saying that to myself has enabled me to carry on at work in a happy mood. You’re right the apology follows at some point. Great post.
KK