The Motivation – Emotion Connection

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Every person has limitless potential to do and be something great. It does not matter where you start out in life – you can start out homeless and poor and still become a millionaire or a billionaire. The only thing that does matter is that you want to succeed. There has to be a deep, inner drive to succeed. That driver is whatever taps into your emotions.

It is virtually impossible to achieve success, realize your dreams or accomplish your goals without tapping into your emotions. All motivation comes from some emotion, whether positive (i.e. passion or enthusiasm) or negative (i.e. disgust or fear).  Emotion triggers motivation. It sets everything in motion. You need a driver, something meaningful that allows you to tap into your emotions if you want to do anything significant with your life.

How do you find that driver, that trigger, that taps into your emotions and that motivates you to do something important in life?

You Must Find Your WHY

Everyone who wants to realize a dream or achieve their goals must have a big WHY. Your WHY could be: your kids, your spouse, a fear of poverty, a fear of failure, to realize a drew or, vision, disgust with some aspect of your life, to make someone you love or admire proud of you, to prove someone wrong, to be like someone you admire, to be free from someone or something in your life, or to overcome something (handicap, poverty, rejection, etc.).

Finding your WHY means you have found that thing (your driver) that taps into some emotion. That driver is the catalyst which inspires you to achieve something great. Everyone has a WHY. Find your WHY and you will unleash the emotional part of your brain that will motivate you to achieve and succeed.

What is Faith And Why Is It Fundamental to Success?

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It’s too bad, in my opinion, that the word faith has been co-opted by religious groups. Belief in God is a very personal thing, but not everyone believes in God.  As a result, when personal development experts use the word faith, it has a way of turning off those who do not believe in God. That’s too bad, because without faith, success in unattainable. You will not succeed if you do not have faith in your dreams, goals and yourself. So, I thought I’d dissect the true non-religious meaning of faith. This way, everyone will understand what it really is and why it’s so critical to success.

Faith encompasses a multitude of success characteristics: fortitude, persistence, mental stamina, grit, sticking it out during tough times, confidence, belief, conviction, certainty, hope, certainty, courage, tenacity, fearlessness, boldness, resoluteness, guts, intestinal fortitude, determination, resolve, will, willpower and toughness.

Faith means you never quit on your dreams, your goals and the pursuit of your main purpose in life. Those who have faith in their dreams, goals and their main purpose in life do not allow anything to get in their way. Faith enables you to overcome every obstacle in your path towards success. It is an undying belief that you will succeed. When you have faith, success is just a matter of time. When you have faith, it can transform the poorest of the poor into the richest of the rich. Faith erases all doubts and all fears. Faith is the most important ingredient to success. With faith all things are possible.

Optimists Succeed in Life, While Pessimists Fail

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Have you ever run into an optimist? Most who do walk away energized, enthusiastic, motivated and, well optimistic. Now contrast that to pessimists. Pessimists sap you of your energy, enthusiasm, motivation and drag you down in life. They push you away and make you want to run for the hills.

By a wide margin, the millionaires in my study were inherently optimistic. Seventy-one percent were grateful and optimistic about life. Why is this important to success? It’s important because success doesn’t happen on its own. You need apostles for your cause. You need to surround yourself with people who believe in your dream, your goals and your cause. Optimists are like magnets, attracting other optimistic, success-minded people to them, making it possible for them to move their dreams and goals forward. Optimists have many brains at work helping them overcome obstacles and open doors, clearing the path and enabling them to succeed in life. 

Pessimists, conversely, repulse people who could otherwise help them in life. As a result they are often left to their own resources, unable to marshall support for their dreams, goals or initiatives. Pessimists are limited to one brain in helping them succeed in life -their own. But even worse, their pessimism turns people they come into contact with from apostles to adversaries. Pessimists alienate others. These alienated individuals then become an army of human obstacles, fighting them at every turn.

Achieving success in life is hard. Optimism makes it less hard while pessimism makes it harder, if not impossible. Gratitude is the gateway to optimism. Envy is the gateway to pessimism. So if you’re struggling with pessimism, start by expressing gratitude every day for things you have and things that go your way. This will shift your mindset from negative to positive. Optimists succeed in life, while pessimists fail. Both mindsets are daily habits. Make optimism your daily habit and watch your life change.

 

Playing it Safe in Life Creates Unhappiness

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In a paper published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience by researchers at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, in which the brains of 46 teenagers were scanned, they found that risk-taking teens activated a portion of the brain called the ventral striatum. The ventral striatum is comprised of a large amount of dopamine receptors. Dopamine is the happiness neurotransmitter.

In my Rich Habits study, I found that 142 of the 177 self-made millionaires (80%) had devoted much of their adult lives in the pursuit of some dream. Anyone who has ever pursued a dream understands that doing so requires that you take significant risks with your time and money, since there is no guarantee that you will realize your dream. An interesting correlation to this was also found in my study: 82% of the wealthy said they were happy. Conversely, only 3% of the poor people in my study took a risk in pursuing some dream and interestingly, only 2% of the poor in my study said they were happy.

It’s clear from these studies that the pursuit of success will make you happier in life. Playing it safe in life not only prevents you from pursuing success, it also results long-term unhappiness. If your ultimate goal in life is long-term happiness, pursue something you are passionate about.

We were not put here on earth to play it safe. We are here to push ourselves to realize our potential. We can only realize that true potential by taking risks and pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zones. The discomfort inherent in taking a risk by pursuing some dream forces us to grow our knowledge, expertise, skills and relationships. The true reward in pursuing a dream and realizing success is not money, it is happiness.

A Culture of Happiness

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According to a study published by the Journal of Happiness, associating with other happy people turns on a gene that increases happiness levels. The gene is called “A allele”. A Allele regulates anandamine, a substance that increases pleasure and reduces pain.

Conversely, when you associate with unhappy, toxic people you turn this gene off, and this acts like a stopgap, preventing the release of anandamine, resulting in increased pain and reduced happiness.

The old adage is true, we are who we associate with. Create a culture of happiness by making a habit of associating with other happy people and avoiding unhappy people.

The Latest Science Explains Why You Can’t Lose Weight

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For years we’ve been advised that the key to weight loss is to burn more calories than we consume. And many accepted this advice, put on their running shoes, or bike helmet or weight belt and went to town burning calories. But the latest science on obesity is turning this strategy to weight loss on its head. Here’s why.

There are approximately 3-5 pounds of bacteria in our large intestine. This bacteria breaks down the food we eat and provides us (and the bacteria) with nutrients that keep us alive. Nutrients that are not needed at the moment are then stored as fat around different parts of the body. Recent studies on obesity indicate that a combination of our western diet (high fat, high refined carbohydrates and low fiber) and the overuse of antibiotics is killing key species of bacteria that live in our large intestine. The death of this bacteria impairs our ability to extract nutrients from the food we eat and forces the body to store these unused nutrients as fat. Your inability to lose weight is very likely the result of not having enough diverse species of bacteria living in your gut. So what do you do?

There’s something called pre-biotics (not to be confused with pro-biotics) which, when ingested, can restore the natural balance of bacteria in your gut, making digestion more efficient, while reducing fat. Pre-biotics include:

  • Artichokes
  • Beans
  • Root Vegetables (carrots, potatoes, onions, etc.)
  • Yogurt
  • Sauerkraut
  • Asparagus
  • Bananas
  • Garlic
  • Cabbage
  • Legumes (chick peas, lentils and green peas)
  • Bran
  • Leeks
  • Apples

Amazingly, consuming these pre-biotics can restore the lost bacteria within 24 hours and help you get back on track with your weight loss. Make it a daily habit to consume foods rich in these pre-biotics and you will find it much easier to burn calories and lose weight.

RIP Olive Corley – Good Habits I Learned From My Mom

Tom Corley boats - cropMy Mom passed away this morning. She gave birth to eight children; all of whom grew up to become good, caring people. My Mom was just under five feet tall but to me she was a giant. She was an incredible pianist, amazing with a sewing machine, knitted every day, was funny, compassionate, kind to everyone and devoted to her family. Through her words and actions she instilled in me and my siblings many good qualities. I thought I’d share some of them with you:

  • Show Empathy: Many people are going through some life crisis and kindness and compassion helps ease their pain. My Mom believed that we should be there to help others who were going through hard times.
  • Be Generous: Help people who are struggling in life. Never ignore those in need. My Mom believed we were put here on earth to do good and that starts by helping those less fortunate.
  • Attend Funerals: A death in the family is one of those life events I write and talk about a lot. When you attend funerals you put your relationships on steroids. Death of a loved one is painful. My Mom believed attending funerals shows you care.
  • Laugh Every Day: Find a reason to be happy. Find something funny in everything in life. My Mom believed you can’t be sad when you’re laughing.
  • Money is the Route of All Evil: Pursuing anything for the love of money alone is wrong. My Mom believed that we all have some innate talent and that we need to find something we are passionate about rather than something that will make us rich.
  • You Can’t Control What You Can’t Control: Much of life is outside your control. My Mom believed that we should all just try every day to control what you can control and not worry about what is outside your control.
  • Creative Pursuits Make You Happy: When you engage in anything that requires creativity you will be happy. My Mom loved playing the piano. She always had a smile on her face when she was playing piano. Writing and teaching makes me happy, so I write and teach every day. My Mom believed that when you develop a skill that exposes your inner creativity it will make you happy.
  • Love: Show love to everyone you meet. Love solves most problems in life. My Mom believed that love was the most important thing in life.

My Mom thought I would become a priest. She saw in me a little of herself – a desire to help those who were less fortunate. Although I decided not to pursue the priesthood, she was nevertheless very proud of the work I was doing with the Rich Habits. Now, my work takes on a new meaning. I now see it as a way to honor my Mom by helping those less fortunate – those struggling with poverty.

How to Stop Emotional Outbursts

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Unchecked negative emotions can alter or destroy relationships forever. The most destructive and costly type of negative emotional outburst is anger. Allowing your anger to erupt hurts those closest to you – those who care about you the most and who you need the most.

No one is perfect and people often disappoint us. Their behavior, their choices and their mistakes affect those closest to them. Responding with anger at these failings only serves to distance those closest to us. Don’t allow you anger to spontaneously erupt. Make a habit of deferring any emotional reaction to a latter time. Sleep on your anger. Deal with the failing after sleep. Sleep has a way of calming the amygdala, the portion of the brain that regulates many of our emotions. Sleep diffuses anger and re-engages the pre-frontal cortex, our executive command and control center. We want our pre-frontal cortex to deal with the failing, not our amygdala. Our amygdala will only get us in trouble.

The next time you are face to face with any potential emotional uprising, defer any response until you have had time to sleep. Your reaction, after sleep, will be controlled by your conscious, analytical brain (the pre-frontal cortex) rather than your emotional brain (amygdala). A well-thought out response will prevent you from damaging or destroying the relationships that are most important to you – those you love and care about the most.

What is at the Heart of Hope?

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I don’t very often do this but one of my readers wrote an article that I thought was very insightful and, so, I’ve agreed to post their article to my blog.

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Hope by definition is an optimistic attitude of mind based on an expectation of positive outcomes related to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large.

How Long Does One Stay Hopeful as an Actor? [Read more…]

Habit Goals

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Success is about consistency. It’s a process that requires consistent daily action. You must do certain, specific things every day in order to realize success tomorrow. Consistent daily behavior is also known as a habit.

The self-made millionaires in my study adopted certain habits that helped move them forward in life. In the beginning of the habit formation process it is necessary to set daily goals to engage in those habits. If you maintain a daily to-do list, specifically tailored to the thing you are trying to succeed in, that to-do list becomes part of your success process. Automatically pre-populating your to-do list with habit goals forces you to engage in those habits every day. Eventually, the habits will become automatic – you won’t need to use the to-do list goal-setting process to engage in them. This puts you on auto-pilot for success. Automating the success process is the key to achieving success.