Archives for December 2015

Unsuccessful people do not read or educate themselves, preferring to spend time on Facebook, YouTube or watching TV. They have very little self-control.

Self-control is a muscle. When exercised it gets stronger. Daily self-improvement reading exercises that muscle. Daily exercise increases self-control. Daily meditation increases self-control. Pursuing a dream and the goals around a dream increases self-control. Unsuccessful people do not engage in activities which increase self-control. As a result, they become easy prey. These are the same people who buy pet rocks, chia pets or ShamWow shammy cloths. They give money to evangelicals or buy no money down real estate courses. They lease expensive cars when they see one of their neighbors driving one. They are easy targets who buy into anything they see that is novel, inspirational or triggers some base emotion.

Successful companies know this. For these companies, it’s like shooting ducks in a bathtub. They understand most people lack self-control. And they exploit it, reaping billions of dollars in the process. Now, you can point the finger of blame at these companies, as many do, or you could point the finger where it belongs – at those who make self-control ignorance a daily habit. Don’t be one of them. Engage in daily activities that strengthens self-control and helps you grow as an individual. Don’t be just another duck in the bathtub. 

Imagine you’re part of a group of cave men, walking through the tall grass in the Savanna on the hunt for your next meal. Suddenly, a member of your group catches a glimpse of a lion out of the corner of  their eye. The member motions to the other members of the group. In a split second everyone in the group goes on high alert, intensely focused on the movement of the lion. As if the entire group were one person, you all cautiously move away from the direction of the lion, never taking your eye off that lion, until everyone is out of harms way.

Stress is an evolutionary radar system whose purpose is to enable humans to single-mindedly focus on a single threat, until the threat no longer poses any danger. It gives us laser-like focus for a short period of time. Everything in our environment, other than the threat, fades into the background.

In the modern world, stress makes it possible for us to study for final exams, fight off a mugger and even defeat the Nazis. Stress allows us to solve pressing problems. But it comes at a cost. Stress is a negative emotion that causes our focus to become narrowed. It limits our ability to see anything but the problem. We get tunnel-vision.

We don’t work in the Savanna anymore. We work in offices, cubicles, manufacturing facilities and emergency rooms, where stress is all around us. When that stress sticks around, it perpetually limits our perception and our focus to one thing and one thing only. It inhibits our ability to be creative. We need to turn off stress in order to be able to creatively solve problems. Creativity, insight and Eureka moments require a positive mindset. Creativity requires a relaxed mind, one open to new ideas and new information. There are ways to turn off stress and relax our minds so that we can maximize our full potential:

• Laugh – When you are under stress, tune it out by finding something funny to distract you. Humor shuts down stress and shifts your mind from negative to positive.
• Meditate – A few minutes of meditation calms the mind and shuts down stress.
• Exercise – Lift weights, go for a run, do yoga or get on a StairMaster. Exercise decreases stress.
• Read – Reading something uplifting will shift your mindset from negative to positive and shut stress down.
• Watch an Inspiring Movie – Watching a movie that inspires, excites, makes you laugh or that takes you away to another place will turn off stress.
• Listen to Relaxing Music – Relaxing music relaxes the mind, turning stress off.
• Engage in Some Creative Activity – Paint, write or make something. Engaging in a creative activity puts stress on the bookshelf.
• Have a Beer – Moderate consumption of alcohol relaxes the mind. One to two drinks is all you need to put stress in its place. Just don’t over do it.
• Socialize – Hang out with a friend, volunteer at a local charity, go to a party or gathering. Socializing relaxes the mind and changes your mindset.
• Change Your Environment – Step away from your desk, cubicle or work area and into an environment that puts you in a good mood. This washes away your stress.

The media loves to highlight individuals who suddenly become successful. Certain individuals are portrayed as sudden beneficiaries of success, as if success were an event. Who can forget:

• Justin Bieber’s You Tube videos as a teenager that launched his singing carer.
• Joe Namath when he the Jets won the Superbowl in 1968.
• JK Rowling in 1997 when Harry Potter became an overnight success.
• Elon Musk when his Falcon rocket became the first privately built rocket to reach orbit.

The media grabs on to sudden success stories. They portray success as some pivotal event forever changing the lives of certain individuals overnight.

Reality is not so exciting, however. While success is occurring, the “event”  goes completely unnoticed for most successful people. It’s invisible while occurring. Successful people don’t see the pivotal points of their success when they are occurring because they are not obvious during the success journey. Only in hindsight are they able to rationalize the moment of success.

This is because for most successful people, success is not an event. It is a process; a progression of one thing to the next, completely under the radar of our consciousness. You just don’t see success happening, even when it’s happening, because the events are subtle progressions.

The point I’m trying to make here is that, barring the rare exceptions, “success” is not an event. It is the culmination of progressing from one goal to the next, from one dream to the next, from one minor success to another minor success. It is very much like show falling on the side of a mountain. You don’t see the snow accumulating and the snow bank growing. Then one day, there is an avalanche. Success may reward you financially with a windfall but it is a windfall that does not occur overnight. It the byproduct of years and years of devoted focus, hard work and persistence. The “event” is just the aftermath of all of those years of devotion to your dream or purpose.

The key to habit change is taking small steps. Those small steps get the ball rolling. Eventually those small steps become habits and once a habit is formed it usually sticks around for the long-term.

At least that’s what the latest in habit change science says. So in mid-October I tested this theory. Completely healed from a back injury sustained in mid-2010, I decided it was time to get back into running. So I set a modest goal, at first, to get the habit formed: jog for 15 minutes a day for 1 week. That one week turned into two weeks and then three weeks. One non-work day I felt I could run longer, so I did – 30 minutes. Five weeks later I ratcheted up my 15 minutes to 20 minutes a day, with a few longer runs sprinkled in there on non-working days.

It’s been over two months since I began this habit experiment. I am running 20-30 minutes every day now. I’ve only missed one day of running in December. As a consequence of this new running habit, my weight has dropped from 197 pounds to 184 pounds. The habit is officially formed.

The key to my new habit formation success has been setting the bar low – 20 minutes a day.  But I’ve noticed that once I get out there I find myself wanting to run longer. Keeping the goal small, 20 minutes each run, is definitely the key to forging this new habit. Big changes start with small steps.

Whether or not you believe Jesus Christ was the savior, there is no disputing the fact that he transformed humanity’s thinking and behavior. Here are the top 10 tips on living a happy and successful life straight from lips of the one and only, Jesus Christ:

1. “Love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” — Matthew 22:36-40: If you want to succeed you must treat others as you would want them to treat you. When you treat others with dignity and respect you will attract the right people to your cause, whatever that might be. No one succeeds alone. You cannot find apostles to your cause by treating others poorly.
2. “Then Peter approaching asked him, ‘Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.’” — Matthew 18:21-22: Anger is the most costly negative emotion. When we forgive others for their misdeeds against us we shift our emotional state from negative to positive. Successful people have a positive mental outlook.
3. “Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words—go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet.” — Matthew 10:14: Successful people associate with other success-minded people. It is the law of association at work. Only associate with those who share your positive thinking and beliefs.
4. “Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them.” — Matthew 7:17-20: Successful people do work that they love and, as a result, they excel at what they do. They produce great work.
5. “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few.” — Matthew 7:13-14: Successful people pursue their own path, their own dreams and their own goals. They put their ladder on their own wall. Oftentimes, the path they take is not the one being taken by everyone else. Successful people blaze new trails. They don’t follow the herd.
6. “He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit, and everyone that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit.” — John 15:2: Successful people eliminate their bad habits and focus on their good habits, inner talents and their strengths.
7. “Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father. When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.” — Matthew 6:1-4: Successful people give first without any expectation of benefiting. Eventually, life rewards those who put the needs and wants of others ahead of their own.
8. “For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” — Matthew 6:21: Successful people pursue work they are passionate about. Wealth is a byproduct of of doing work that you love.
9. “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.” — Matthew 6:25-27,34: Worry is a negative emotion. It creates stress and a negative mental outlook. Negativity blinds you to the opportunities all around you. It limits your focus and your creativity. Successful people focus on controlling only that which they control. They don’t worry about things that are outside their control.
10. “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Matthew 7, 7: Successful people make a habit of asking for what they want and need.

No doubt you’ve probably heard so much about the power of beliefs that you’re numb to it. But I recently read about a study conducted by Yale professor Bernie Siegel that opened my eyes. Prof. Siegel studied people who had multiple personalities. Amazingly, when one personality took over, Siegel noticed changes in physical appearance. Eye color changed and birthmarks disappears. Their very DNA was changing along with their personalities. All because they believed themselves to be someone else. This study showed that beliefs are so powerful they can change your very cell structure and alter your DNA, causing wholesale changes throughout the body.

Now imagine that you believe yourself to be the best actor, accountant, salesman, or (fill in the blank). Imagine you are able to believe it down to your bones. What will happen? Your new belief will alter your behavior. You’ll start doing things only the best in your profession do. Your new belief will prompt you to devote more time in perfecting your knowledge and skills in whatever profession you believe yourself to be the best in. You’ll start reading more, asking more questions, experimenting with new and better approaches to things. It will work its way down to your brain cells, causing them to fire up with other brain cells in order to create new synapses that make being the best possible. These new synapses will make you smarter. You will eventually start to realize the success that only the best in your profession experience: more money, more prestige, powerful relationships. In short, your entire life will change. That’s the power of beliefs.

Successful people use the power of leverage to help them with their goals and dreams. Leverage means using all of your assets, knowledge, skills, time and relationships to get what you want or need in life.

As an example, successful people reach out to their like-minded Rich Relationships to introduce them to individuals or groups who can help them in some way. These individuals are able to open doors that were previously shut to them.

Another example is how successful people leverage time. There are only twenty-four hours in every day for every individual. With respect to time, we are all on equal footing. Successful people understand that in order to leverage time they need others to help them pull their cart in order to move them forward in achieving their goals and realizing their dreams. Ten people working together for one purpose equals 240 hours.

One more example of leverage is how successful people leverage knowledge and skills. They understand that they cannot possibly know everything or be good at everything, so successful people leverage the knowledge and skills of their network of relationships. They tap into the collective knowledge and skills of everyone in their inner circle to help them with their goals and dreams.

Leveraging what you have means being aware of all of the assets, knowledge, skills, time and relationships at your finger tips in order to get what you want and need so that you can achieve all of your goals and realize all of your dreams.

Creativity and insight are neurological cousins. Inspiration and passion drives creativity whereas insight is typically driven by sweat of the brow analytical thinking related to a single specific problem you are working on. Creativity and insight happen when the old brain (subconscious) is able to solve an intractable problem and then communicates the solution via intuition or gut feelings to the new brain (conscious). When you are working on a project or specific problem and you feel stuck, there are strategies that can help you maximize creativity and insight. I thought I’d run through a few of those boosters:

• Sleep – Getting adequate sleep is critical for creativity and insight. Sleep deprivation is a creativity and insight killer. For most 6-8 hour of sleep should do the trick. More important than the number of hours of sleep is the number of sleep cycles. Four is a minimum, five ideal.
• Change Your Environment – Put down what you’re doing. Take a walk, take a shower, listen to music, read a book, etc. The key is to divert your attention to something completely different and unrelated to the problem you are trying to solve. This diversion allows your old brain time to work offline on the problem.
• Meditate – Meditation is really nothing more than a conscious effort to slow your brain down to the point where the brain goes into its alpha level (7-10 cycles/second).
• Moderate Alcohol – One to two glasses of wine, beer or alcohol reduces inhibitions, increases dopamine and can be beneficial in increasing creativity.
• Moderate Caffeine – Caffeine stimulates the brain by blocking adenosine, a chemical in the brain involved in making us feel sleepy.
• Exercise – Exercise increases blood flow, oxygen levels and the production of glucose in our blood. This oxygen and glucose enriched blood eventually makes its way to our brain, feeding the brain with fuel to help provide you with the brain fuel necessary to trigger creativity and insight.
• Take a Nap – One of the most important purposes of napping is to restore willpower. When willpower is low, we need rest to restore it. Willpower fuels new brain activity. When its low, our new brain slows down our ability to analytically solve problems.

When we are exposed to some outside threat, we experience stress. Our fight or flight impulse takes over. Our new brain (neocortex, also known as conscious mind) shuts down and our old brain (limbic system and brain stem, also known as subconscious mind) takes over. Our focus narrows to the point where most sensory input is ignored, other than that sensory input related to the threat. We focus on nothing but the threat.

Stress, a negative emotion, narrows our focus. Narrowing our focus blinds us to most everything in our environment, other than the thing causing the stress. This narrowed focus limits our ability to see solutions to our stress-induced problems. When we are in a state of stress, part of our brain literally shuts down – the executive command and control center goes to sleep.

Individuals who are better able to manage stress, are able to maintain a positive mental outlook, in the presence of stress. These individuals have their entire brain working for them. They are more creative and the beneficiaries of something called insight. Insight is that spark of genius that solves seemingly intractable problems with one thought.

The most successful individuals have this ability to stay positive during stressful situations. They understand that positivity is the springboard of all creativity and insight. The key to staying positive during stressful situations is awareness. We need to be aware of the stress we are under so that we can calm ourselves, our thinking and avoid falling victim to stress-induced negativity, which shuts down part of our brain, exacerbating the stressful situation.

Solutions to our problems in life requires creativity and insight, which requires a positive mental outlook, which requires awareness that we are experiencing stress. Only when you are aware that you are experiencing stress, do you have any chance of mitigating the effects of stress. There are many tools to reduce stress: 5 minutes of meditation, deep breathing, humor or anything positive that distracts our minds, even momentarily, from the stressful situation. Once the effects of stress are reduced, then we can rally our entire brain to inspire us with creativity and insight and come up with solutions that will eliminate the problem creating the stress in the first place. Positivity expands our thinking, opens up our entire brain and is the key to problem solving.