Archives for December 2015

Whether or not we’re aware of it, there are two wars raging inside each one of us: Taking Action or Procrastinating.

When we take action on our dreams and goals it moves us forward in life. Action creates ripples that produces feedback, which is critical in understanding if we are on the right track or the wrong track. That feedback enable us to pivot, to make course corrections. Action fosters happiness. It reduces stress. Stress that is the byproduct of not doing the things we know we should be doing in life.

Procrastination is the opposite of action. Delayed action prevents us from moving forward. It is the reason most are stuck in life. Procrastination is driven by dread and fear. We dread taking action because of the fear of pain. The pain is the imagined physical or mental effort it will take to complete the task or goal. It is also the consequences of taking action, since all action creates ripples of feedback. Sometimes that feedback is good, sometimes bad. We fear negative feedback. But negative feedback is critical to success in life. It tells us if we are on the right or wrong path. The pain of taking action, in our minds, outweighs the pain of not taking action. So we distract ourselves by doing other things that are not so demanding, not so painful. But our subconscious, our old brain, never lets us forget that we have an uncompleted task. It constantly nags us and reminds us that we have an uncompleted task. The subconscious intuitively knows that completing that task is important in helping to improve our lives and that procrastinating on the task will only have negative consequences, damaging our life. The brain nudges us to take action by creating stress. A stress that will never go away until we take action. Stress creates a state of unhappiness. So procrastination creates unhappiness.

You are the commander in chief of this war raging inside you. Take command of your forces. Take action. You can only win the war by taking action on your goals and dreams. Overcome your fear and dread of taking action.

I recently read a very interesting piece written by Benjamin Hardy titled: 35 Things You Should Know Before Becoming Successful and it reminded me of some of the research I had gathered regarding happiness. One of the problems with happiness is that we have all been programmed to seek happiness, as if it were some goal.

So we go out and buy stuff either by saving money or accumulating debt. Purchasing things creates short-term happiness. Eventually that happiness fades away. Meanwhile, the money’s gone or the debt has to be paid, and that creates unhappiness.

Or we pursue careers that will give us the greatest potential for high compensation because we believe that if we can make a lot of money we can purchase happiness with our high earnings. So, we work long hours, slaving away, and over time we realize we are unhappy. We don’t like what we do for a living. When that happens, it really doesn’t matter how big our house is, how nice a car we drive, how much stuff we’re able to shove down our family’s throats.

Happiness is not a goal, it’s a state of mind, it’s a state of being. The three step formula for happiness is as follows:

1. Be first: Be the person you want to be. If that’s happiness, be happy for what you have. If that’s a writer, become a writer. If that’s a business owner, become a business owner. If that’s a better father or husband, be a better father or husband.
2. Do next: Do the things today that make you the person you want to be. Start expressing gratitude for the things you have today, start writing today, start that business today, start doing things that make you a better father or husband today.
3. Have: When you Be and Do, you will eventually get what you desire. If that’s happiness, you will have happiness. If that’s a career as a writer, you will have that career, if it’s your own business, you will have that business, if it’s a family that adores you, you will have it.

Our thoughts and the actions we take, attract to us the life we desire.

The anticipation of getting something you want elevates your dopamine levels (happiness neurotransmitter) every time you think about that thing you want. This is why the pursuit of success, the pursuit of something meaningful, the pursuit of a dream and the pursuit of goals is often the time period in which we experience true happiness in life. Once we get what we want, anticipation is gone, and in a matter of a few weeks, days or even hours after getting what we want, happiness fades away. That thing we wanted so badly, once acquired, does not produce any more happiness.

You see this with kids, 2-3 weeks prior to Christmas. During this 2-3 week period, kids are on a dopamine high that hits its peak on Christmas Eve. The real reason most adults have fond memories of Christmas isn’t the result of getting things they wanted. Stop for a minute, right now, and try to remember the things you got for Christmas as a child. How many things could you remember? I can remember only three things, myself. You see, it’s not the things that you got as a child on Christmas morning that fueled your happiness memories of Christmas. It’s the period of anticipation, prior to Christmas, that forged those memories.

When you are pursuing something worthwhile, it almost always requires an investment of your time and money. The cost you incur is in putting off things you want to do or have now, in exchange for getting something you want more, down the road. This is why delayed gratification is so important to happiness. Forgoing something today creates anticipation for something better tomorrow and that anticipation produces happiness.

There are three constituent parts of every Success Journey: Commit, Act and Pivot.

Commit to the pursuit of a dream. Commitment requires that you make a decision to pursue a dream.

Act means you take action. You start developing goals around your dream and begin pursuing each goal. Every dream is composed of multiple goals. Taking action to achieve each goal gets you closer to realizing your dream.

Pivot during the goal pursuit process. Oftentimes, the path towards the accomplishment of a goal changes. New facts, new information and new insights provide new knowledge. Knowledge that you did not have before you began the goal pursuit process. This new knowledge should not alter your goal, but it should alter the course of action you take in pursuit of the goal. Pivoting means taking different action due to new information. This is why, whenever you are pursuing a dream, and the goals that make the dream possible, it is critical to learn everything you can about your dreams and your goals. The more information you acquire, the greater the likelihood you will stumble upon the right course of action that will enable you to realize your dream. Pivoting means altering the action you take in pursuit of the goals that, once realized, will get you closer to your dream.

I have a small business client who is on the path to success. I know this because he shares many of the success traits and Rich Habits that I found in the rich people that were part of my Rich Habits study. He’s not a self-made millionaire yet but he’s trying every day.

I love talking to this client because he is a self-improvement fanatic and fascinated with my Rich Habits research. The desire to improve every day is a Rich Habit that was common among many of the rich in my study. He shares another success trait with the self-made millionaires in my study – he’s obsessed with sharing his knowledge with others. Sixty-eight percent of the wealthy in my study had the Rich Habit of mentoring others.

We had a meeting recently to do some retirement planning. At the beginning of the meeting his cell phone rang. It was one of his employees he was mentoring. This employee was doing a consultation with a client and was calling because she wanted my client (her mentor employer) there at the meeting with her. He told her he won’t be at the consultation. He said he was with his accountant and that she would just have to fly solo on this one. I could hear her pleading with him over the phone to leave her accountant and come to the office. Very calmly, my client told her, “You know what to do. I believe in you. You will do a great job. Stop worrying and believe in yourself.” She continued to plead with him but my client simply said, “I have to go now, my accountant is waiting.” He hung up the phone and told me that in order to help others grow you need to force them outside their comfort zone.

Each individual has a circle. Inside that circle are the things you are comfortable doing. Those things inside your circle represents your comfort zone. Most do everything humanly possible to stay within their comfort zone. When you do things that are outside your comfort zone and outside that circle, it causes discomfort. But each time you engage in an activity that causes discomfort, you expand your circle; you grow as an individual. That discomfort is oftentimes painful. Growth is painful. Stretching your circle by engaging in activities that cause discomfort is painful. But it’s also necessary if you want to grow and growth is part of the success journey. You can’t succeed in life by staying in your comfort zone. You have to expand your circle in order to become successful in life.

You have to engage in activities that cause discomfort and this means you must experience the pain of growth. Those who do not succeed in life, avoid doing things that cause them discomfort and pain. As a result, they never grow into the individuals they need to become in order for success to visit them. Start stretching your circle today. Never fear the pain of growth. It is that very pain that makes you stronger and helps you grow into the person you need to be in order for success to visit you.

Sixteenth century astronomer Galileo Galilei stood on the shoulders of 15th century astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus when he proved through experiments that Copernicus’ sun centered theory was correct. Sir Isaac Newton, considered the father of physics and calculus, stood on the shoulders of Copernicus, Galileo and Rene Descartes. Albert Einstein stood on the shoulders of Galileo, Copernicus, Newton, Descartes and many others when he came up with his famous mass = energy formula that gave birth to the atom bomb and when he helped humanity understand the geometry of space.

All successful individuals stand on the shoulders of others. Some of the shoulders we climb up on are found in books, others in mentors who help guide us in life. If you want to be successful you have to continuously learn from others what to do and what not to do. That ongoing growth in knowledge is the very foundation of success. Let me ask you, whose shoulders are you trying to climb on? If you know the answer to that question, you are most likely on the path towards success.

Unforced focus is the ability to focus on something for long periods of time without experiencing decision fatigue. Decision fatigue occurs when you are required to use willpower to selectively focus on one thing for a period of time. When we use willpower, we consciously force the brain to focus on the task at hand. This forced focus rapidly depletes the brain of precious brain fuel (glucose). Forced focus relies on the most recent edition to brain physiology that I like to refer to as new brain physiology.

New brain physiology is comprised of the neo-cortex and the pre-frontal lobe. These areas represent the outer and front parts of the brain. Only recently, in the past few hundred thousand years, have they become part of our overall brain physiology. From a functional standpoint, the new brain represents the analytical and executive control centers; both energy hogs that rapidly soak up all available brain fuel. The new brain is oftentimes referred to as the conscious part of the brain. Forced focus relies on inefficient new brain physiology that rapidly wears out the brain, limiting our ability to focus to a mere few hours at a time.

Old brain physiology, however, is an entirely separate part of the brain. Unlike the new brain, it has been evolving for millions of years. The old brain is comprised of the limbic system and the brain stem. Old brain physiology is far superior to new brain physiology. It is more efficient, represents the only part of the brain that can multi-task, can solve complex problems without conscious effort (while you sleep, for example), is the seat of all emotions, the fountain of intuition and gut feelings and manages all of our habits. It is oftentimes referred to as the subconscious. Because the old brain has been around much longer than the new brain, it has evolved certain built-in efficiencies that the new brain lacks. These efficiencies enable it to use significantly less brain fuel in performing all of its tasks.

When you experience unforced focus, you are tapping into old brain physiology. Unlike forced focus, unforced focus allows you to focus on one thing for extended periods of time without experiencing decision fatigue. Some refer to this state of focus as being in the flow. Unforced focus is powered by passion, one of the most powerful emotions. Passion is triggered by doing something you love. When you tap into the emotional passion center of old brain physiology, you are able to focus like a laser on one thing for years, decades or even a lifetime without fatiguing the brain. 

The 177 self-made millionaires in my Rich Habits study all pursued something they were passionate about. This passion enabled them to exploit old brain physiology and tap into the incomprehensible power of unforced focus to enable them persist for long periods of time until they succeeded. Forced focus, conversely, will only get you so far because forced focus quickly tires out the brain. The true path to success is in tapping into the old brain and unleashing the incredible power of unforced focus. When you do, you plug into millions of years of brain evolution and the unlimited brain power that is inborn in every human being.