Happiness is very subjective. What makes me “happy” might not make you “happy”. Also, how I define happiness may be different than how you define happiness. Happiness, therefore, is a very difficult topic for anyone to tackle. One of the many data points I gathered as part of my my five-year study on the habits of the rich and poor included happiness. I believe I have cracked the code on exactly what happiness is, how to produce it and how to maintain a constant, happy state of mind.

Happiness is really two things:

1. Short-Term Happiness and
2. Long-Term Happiness.

Short-term happiness is the result of short-term gratification, pleasure, rewards, events, social interactions and any number of experiences in our lives that give us an immediate, albeit, temporary boost in dopamine and serotonin (happiness neurotransmitters). This type of happiness is fleeting. It is also the type of happiness most pursue and accept as the definition of happiness.

Long-term happiness is the result of fulfillment. This type of happiness is only achieved through the pursuit of things that are fulfilling. Examples include:

• Raising a family
• Building a business you love
• Pursuing something you are passionate about
• Pursuing a dream or the goals behind the dream
• Maintaining and growing long-lasting relationships
• Helping others (i.e. volunteering)
• Engaging in daily activities that result in continuous growth and learning
• Engaging in daily activities that promote good health (eating right and exercising)

If you are sincerely interested in finding happiness, you must pursue things that create a feeling of fulfillment. Fulfillment does not rely on a temporary daily fix of dopamine and serotonin. Fulfillment is the only meaningful definition of happiness because it creates a constant state of happiness, rather than the short-lived one most individuals are mistakenly pursuing. You can only find true happiness by pursuing a life of fulfillment.

Your brain takes in 11 million bits of information per second. Unfortunately, the brain can only process 40 bits of information per second. Which 40 bits does it choose to accept?

The answer to that question dictates the type of life you create. Will that 40 bits be negative information or positive information? Will it be tied to some dreams or goals you are pursuing? Will it be tied to some long-held beliefs embedded deep in your subconscious? Will it take in information tied to your passions?

The 40 bits of information that flow into your brain will be dictated primarily by two things:

1. Your mental outlook (positive or negative) and
2. Those things that are, at the moment, occupying your mind.

Those 40 bits that your brain accepts, pull or push you in certain directions. If you have a positive mental outlook, your brain will accept information that reinforces your positivity. If you are pursuing some passion, dream or goals tied to your passions and dreams, your brain will accept information that it perceives as critical to pursuing your passions, realizing your dreams or achieving your goals.

There are thousands of neuro-receptors on each brain cell in your body. Each neuro-receptor is like a lock. It can only be opened by a specific key, or neurotransmitter. Your mental outlook, and those things that are occupying your mind, cause your brain cells to release certain neurotransmitters. Those neurotransmitters are instinctively drawn to specific neuro-receptors. When they find the right neuro-receptor, that is when brain cells begin talking to one another. What conversation they have depends on your mental outlook and on those things you are focused on.

When you have a positive mental outlook, the conversation will be about how to maintain your optimism, happiness, enthusiasm, confidence or any other positive thought. Your brain will look for things in your environment, those 40 bits of information, that will perpetuate your positive mental outlook.

If you are pursuing a passion, dreams or goals, the conversation will be about how to pursue, realize and achieve those passions, dreams or goals. The 40 bits of information allowed in could be information that leads to aha moments, like-minded people that will help you with your passions, dreams or goals or any information that will advance you in your passions, dreams or goals.

Thoughts are catalysts for creating your reality. They create the neuro-chemical reactions that help you build the life of your dreams. Make sure those thoughts are positive and directed towards pursuing some passion, dream or goal.

When you have a positive mental outlook you automatically flood the brain with serotonin and dopamine, two neuro-chemicals that cause brain cells to create new connections (synapses) with other brain cells within the brain. When you’re happy, your brain literally grows.

When you have a negative mental outlook serotonin and dopamine levels in the brain drop, reducing the number of synapses within the brain. When you are unhappy or depressed, brain cells that no longer connect with other brain cells die. Your brain literally shrinks.

Happiness, therefore is the fountain of youth for the brain. That is why it is so important to forge habits that increase happiness and reduce unhappiness. What habits increase happiness?

1. Daily Aerobic Exercise – Aerobic exercise is a happiness activity because it contributes to an overall feeling of well being. Aerobic exercise releases endorphins, natural painkillers that promote an increased sense of well-being and make us feel “happier”.
2. Daily Learning – Our brains are hardwired to learn. When we learn something the brain rewards you with specific neuro-chemicals, such as dopamine, serotonin and brain-derived neurotrophic factors, all of which make us feel happier.
3. Relationship-Building Activities – The latest science on happiness (Harvard University Longitudinal Study on Happiness) indicates that the more close relationships you have, the happier you are. Volunteering, networking, team sports activities, club participation, mentoring and groups you participate in will help increase the number of close relationships you have.
4. Practiced Positivity – Meditation, expressing gratitude daily, daily positive affirmations and reading something inspirational create a positive mental outlook.

You know happiness when you feel it. It’s a neurologically-based chemical effect driven primarily by a neurotransmitter known as dopamine. When neurons release dopamine we get the sensation of happiness.

Thanks to recent advances in the study of happiness we now know that 60% of happiness is dictated by our DNA and circumstances – things outside our control. That’s the bad news. The good news, however, is that the remaining 40% of happiness is dictated by things completely within our control – activities. So, what activities increase happiness?

• Daily Aerobic Exercise – Aerobic exercise is a happiness activity because it contributes to an overall feeling of well being. Aerobic exercise releases endorphins, natural painkillers that promote an increased sense of well-being and make us feel “happier”.
• Daily Learning – Our brains are hardwired to learn. When we learn something the brain rewards you with specific neuro-chemicals, such as dopamine, serotonin and brain-derived neurotrophic factors, all of which make us feel happier.
• Relationship-Building Activities – The latest science on happiness (Harvard University Longitudinal Study on Happiness) indicates that the more close relationships you have, the happier you are. Volunteering, networking, team sports activities, club participation, mentoring and groups you participate in will help increase the number of close relationships you have.
• Practiced Positivity – Meditation, expressing gratitude daily, daily positive affirmations and reading something inspirational create a positive mental outlook.

I was in the gym the other day and overheard the following exchange between a woman and a man:

Woman to Man: “Did you run today?”

Man to Woman: “Not yet. When I’m done lifting I’m going for a run.”

Woman to Man: “You are so disciplined. I wish I had your motivation.”

Man to Woman: “It’s just a habit. No discipline or motivation. Just a habit.”

That one exchange best summarizes the real power of habits. They remove the need for motivation and discipline (willpower). If you have to rely on motivation or willpower to engage in good behavior, like exercise, you won’t engage in that good behavior for long. It will be short-lived. Motivation and discipline works for only a short period of time. Eventually the motivation and willpower will fade and you will stop engaging in the new behavior. When that good behavior, however, becomes a habit, it transforms the behavior from temporary to permanent and makes motivation or discipline irrelevant.

For the man in the gym, he was just engaging in habitual behavior – exercise. He was not particularly motivated or disciplined. That’s the miracle of habits. They give the perception to others that you are highly motivated or disciplined, but in actuality habits remove the need for motivation and discipline.

56% of the wealthy in my study married right. What I mean is that they married a spouse who was success-minded, just like they were. Their spouse either partnered with them in their business or were their biggest cheerleader and supporter.

Despite what you may have read in the romance novels or seen in the movies, you can fall in love with anyone. There is no one person out there for you. Finding a spouse who shares your work ethic, financial goals and life plan is crucial to success. So how do you find the perfect mate?

You begin by defining the perfect mate. Write a bio or script of the perfect mate. Besides looks, define the ideal characteristics you want in a future spouse:

• What’s Their Mental Outlook? – Are they positive, optimistic, enthusiastic, etc.
• What’s Their Work Ethic?
• What’s Their Level of Education?
• What’s Their Attitude About Lifelong Learning – Are they readers? Do they like to learn new, novel things?
• How Do They Feel About Money?
• Are They Frugal About Spending Money?
• Are They Savers?
• Are They Risk Averse?
• Are They Energetic?
• Are They Charitable?
• Are They Supportive?
• What’s Their Life Plan Look Like?
• Do They Like to Travel?
• Do They Love Kids?
• Do They Ever Get Depressed?
• Do They Drink Alcohol? If so, how much?
• Do They Exercise Regularly?
• What Are Their Dreams and Goals in Life?
• Do They Have A Lot of Friends? Are They Outgoing?

Try to paint a picture with words. That becomes your blueprint for finding the ideal spouse. If you don’t know who you want to marry, you could end up spending your life with someone who does not share your dreams, goals or life plan. Remember, success is a process. A big part of that process is who your surround yourself with. Make sure you surround yourself with individuals who are success-minded like you!

There are people who consume your time without adding any value in return. These individuals will call you on the phone often, picking your brain endlessly. Or they will email you repetitively. Or they plop themselves in your office or place of business and take up your time.

These are time consumers. Time consumers do not value or respect your time. You are a pawn to them. For time consumers it’s a one-sided relationship – they benefit from their time with you and you receive nothing in return except lost time.

Individuals who consume your time and do nothing to help you move forward on your goals and dreams are time consumers who must be avoided at all costs. They are focused only on their needs, goals and dreams. Your needs, goals and dreams are meaningless to them. Make a list of all of the time consumers in your life and then make it a daily habit of avoiding them or minimizing how much time you spend with them. Your time is limited. It has value. Only associate with individuals who respect your time. Disassociate yourself with those who are time consumers. They are pursuing success for only one person – themselves.