In a recent Harvard University study on gratitude, researchers found that after 10 weeks of expressing gratitude daily, individuals in the study were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. They also identified 3 ways to express gratitude:

1. Prior Happiness Events – Focus on positive memories. When you reflect on the past, focus only on the good and not the bad. Good picks you up, bad drags you down.
2. Current Happiness Events – Focus on living in the present – enjoying current, real-time experiences. Living in the present means not letting anything distract you while you are enjoying time with family, friends, on vacation, holiday, etc.
3. Future Happiness Events – Focus on a positive outlook for your future. Visualize your ideal life; what it will look like, the house you’ll live in, where you’ll live, how much money you’ll earn, how much money you’ll have, etc.

When you focus on being grateful, it opens up the mind. You are literally using 100% of your brain when you have a positive mental outlook. Envy, the opposite of gratitude, puts you in a negative mindset and closes off much of the prefrontal cortex (executive command and control center of the brain). It’s virtually impossible to succeed with a negative mental outlook. Being grateful is the gateway to happiness, because it forces you to focus on past, present and future happiness events, providing you with a lifetime of happiness.

A lot of people think that success is an event. One magical, transformational event.

She or he was an overnight success. I’ve read crap like that in the media over and over again, and still do. For budding entrepreneurs out there, the expectation that you can become an overnight success plays havoc with their psyche when that expectation is not met.

It’s emotionally and psychologically hard to succeed in business. You have to overcome so many obstacles, hurdles, pitfalls and mistakes in the beginning. It’s no wonder that, according to the Small Business Association, 50% of new businesses fail in their first year.

When the pursuit of success fails to pay off immediately, many simply fold up their tents and quit. Most quit because they bought into the notion that overnight success is possible and, so, they are not prepared for the long, arduous journey that is the reality for most who pursue success.

In reality, success is not a linear climb. It’s more like monkey bars. Sometimes you are forced to move downwards, sometimes sideways and sometimes forward and up the monkey bars. Those downwards and sideways adjustments are frustrating and test your mettle. They drag you down emotionally. You lose confidence. You lose money.

But, with persistence as your partner, you eventually overcome those obstacles, pitfalls and mistakes and find yourself moving forward and up. You figure things out. And every time you figure out what to do and what not to do, you grow. Every time you are forced back on your heels, yet somehow survive, you grow and change. You begin to believe in yourself and you become more persistent, knowing that you can overcome most obstacles, pitfalls and mistakes.

When you do eventually succeed, it’s not some magically, singular event. It’s the culmination of many small successes in overcoming adversity. At the end of your journey, when you are standing at the top of the monkey bars looking down, you are a very different person than the person who started the climb. All of the negatives about you that existed prior to your climb, get washed away, like one giant eraser. You find yourself more confident, less insecure, mentally stronger, and forever grateful that you reached for that one monkey bar to begin your climb.

In a joint study on personality, conducted by Harvard University and Boston University, 1,306 men were tracked over a ten-year period. After the ten-year period, the 1,306 men were put through a battery of tests to determine their health. The men designated as pessimistic were twice as likely to have heart disease. The men designated as optimistic were much healthier and showed few signs of heart disease.

A similar four-year study conducted by researchers in Finland showed similar results. Pessimistic men were three times more likely to develop hypertension and high blood pressure than their optimistic counterparts.

A University of Illinois study found that optimists had significantly lower blood sugar levels and a lower body mass index than pessimists.

There are many other studies I could cite. They all seem to point to the same thing: Optimists are healthier and live longer than pessimists. Even diseases ravage pessimists more than optimists because pessimists have a weaker immune system according to various studies.

Optimism, like habits, is contagious. It affects those within your social network. Optimism not only improves your health and increases your longevity, it also improves the heath and longevity of your family, friends and coworkers. So, the lesson here is to hang around optimistic people because pessimism can kill you. Pessimists are toxic in many ways that go beyond just derailing your from achieving success in life. Avoid pessimists like the plague.

Negative people have certain character flaws that form the foundation of lives filled with unhappiness, misery and poverty. They hold onto these negative character flaws like they were children, nurturing and protecting them their entire lives.

What are the 19 Traits of Negative People?

1. Pessimism – Negative people always see the glass as half empty. They focus on the downside to every future decision in life not only for themselves but also for others.
2. Doubt – Negative people are filled with doubts that hold them back from achieving anything worthwhile in life.
3. Fear – Negative people are afraid to take risks, fear change, fear people, fear new opportunities, fear marriage, etc.
4. Constant Worry – Negative people are constantly stressed. They worry about every possible negative outcome.
5. Gossip – Negative people incessently gossip about others and never in a good way.
6. Deceit – Negative people are deceitful. They seek to separate you from your money, possessions and relationships.
7. Uncontrolled Anger – Negative people get angry quickly and often.
8. Complaining – Negative people complain about everything, everybody and life in general.
9. Criticism – Negative people are constantly criticizing everything about themselves, the government, the economy, their bosses or supervisors, other workers, their spouse, friends, family, etc.
10. Envy – Negative people envy what others have. They are not grateful for what they have. They are jealous and bitter about the lives of others.
11. Condemnation – Negative people condemn, put down and belittle others.
12. Selfishness – Negative people put themselves first and everyone else last.
13. Cheap – Because negative people see the world through the lens of scarcity and not abundance, they hold on to their money and possessions. They are not charitable-minded or generous.
14. Blame – Negative people blame their problems on others. They do not take individual responsibility for their lives. They see themselves as victims.
15. Unapologetic – Negative people never apologize for any actions that hurt others.
16. Avoid Criticism – Negative people do not like to be criticized by others. They will go out of their way to avoid seeking feedback.
17. Know-It-Alls – Negative people are know-in-alls. They come off as conceited and egotistical. They think they are always right.
18. Lack Compassion – Negative people lack compassion for others.
19. Avoid Change – Negative people avoid change. They stay within their comfort zones and never grow as individuals.

Most of the poor in my Rich Habits Study were wallowing in negativity. Negative people will drag you down in life. They will waste your valuable time. They infect your thinking like a virus. They are dream destroyers. You need to avoid negative people at all costs if you want to succeed in life. In order to avoid negative people, you must be able to identify their traits.

What do you want out of life?

For the 177 self-made millionaires in my Rich Habits Study the answers were always the same: I want to live the life of my dreams.

These unique individuals focused on a vision of the life they desired. For some, it was financial independence. For others, it was freedom from being a wage slave.

Each self-made millionaire had spent time creating a blueprint of the life they desired. They focused on the outcome.

When you focus on the outcomes you desire, the obstacles, pitfalls, and hurdles you must overcome in the pursuit of that outcome, become less arduous.

Having a vision of your ideal life empowers you. It gives you clarity. This allows you to focus on the outcome, rather than means to that outcome. You will climb any mountain, break through any barriers, overcome any obstacles when you are clear on your destination.

Without a clear picture of the ideal life you desire, obstacles become insurmountable. They stop you in your tracks. Without a destination, obstacles become the focal point.

But when you shift your focus to the outcome you desire, those obstacles lose their invincibility. They become just another challenge, another thing to overcome. Focusing on a desired outcome forces you to find alternative paths to help you navigate around those obstacles that stand between you and your destination. When you focus on the outcome, obstacles cease being a stop sign or a dead end and become mere deviations, forcing you to alter your route towards your destination.

Focus on the outcome you desire and you will open up your mind to creative solutions to any problem that stands between you and your destination.

According to my research 79% of successful entrepreneurs network five or more hours each month. Networking with others in your industry is critical to gaining the expertise you need to succeed. The ability to be mentored by experienced individuals shortens the learning curve inherent in any new venture, saving you time and money. Being able to pick the brains of those who have already made the costly mistakes and know what to do and what not to do is smart. The more you network with others in your industry, the greater the likelihood you will avoid the pitfalls and traps new entrepreneurs experience.

It is far easier to network today than ever before. Digital networks such as Facebook groups, LinkedIn, Twitter, Google and blog sites offer an efficient and convenient alternative to formal in-person networking groups. Plus many digital networking sites, like Interactive Minds host interactive networking events without the need to travel.

For those who feel uncomfortable schmoozing with others face to face, interactive networking enables you to participate without the discomfort. It’s easy to join these groups no matter what country you live in.

For those who need human interaction, there are many networking groups right within your community that are specific to your industry. Meetup.com makes it easy to find a local group within your area of expertise. You can even create your own Meetup group if you like and invite others to join.

Successful entrepreneurs surround themselves with a network of experts they can tap to help them anticipate or overcome obstacles that are inherent in any entrepreneurial pursuit. If you’re a neophyte entrepreneur, networking will help you survive and thrive. In time, you’ll find two or three individuals within your network who become your informal board of directors, helping guide you along your path towards success.

Habit formation isn’t easy, especially in the beginning. Those early days of forging good habits are the most difficult. The most important thing is to rebound when you fall off schedule. The rebound is made much easier by baby stepping yourself back into those good habits. Rather than seeking to jump back into your good habit routine, give yourself two or three days to rebound. Two to three days of easing back into your good habit routine makes it less daunting.

Example

You’ve done a great job sticking to your daily self-education reading routine of 30 minutes a day. But a recent holiday disrupts that routine. For a few days, your routine is replaced with preparing for and enjoying the holiday. It was a fun-filled holiday, surrounded by family and friends. No time for reading. But now, family members are disbursing, heading back home. You find it difficult to get back into the groove of your good habit routine. Your mind just isn’t in it. You might even be a little sad, because everyone is leaving. What do you do?

Baby step yourself back into your routine. Instead of 30 minutes of reading, try just 5 minutes. Tomorrow, try 10 minutes. In a few days you’ll be back up to reading 30 minutes each day.

The key to rebounding is to make it as easy as possible. When it’s easy, your brain will not fight you. Once you begin to baby step your way back into your routine, those neurons will begin firing up once again and the brain war will end.

Dr. Ali Binazir, author of the Tao of Dating, estimates that the odds of you existing are one in four quadrillion. He makes a very impressive, analytical argument in arriving at that number in his piece Are You a Miracle?. It’s a great piece, but to save you time here’s the short of it.

Humans have been around for about 3 million years, or 150,000 generations. The odds of your ancestors surviving those 150,000 generations are staggering. The odds of your parents meeting, staggering. The odds of that one sperm cell meeting that one unique egg cell, at that specific right time, staggering. In short, you are a miracle just by virtue of being alive to read these words.

Yet, so many live their lives downing in impossibility. Rather than embracing the notion that your mere existence is an exclamation point, proving that anything is possible, the average Joe sees impossibility everywhere. They view their lives through the lens of impossibilities, allowing limiting, negative beliefs to anchor them to lives of mediocrity. What a shame.

When you consider the near impossibility of you being alive, it leaves no doubt that you were born lucky. The fact that you exist, means you’re lucky. It also means your very existence is a gift. You have been given a very rare opportunity to exist, which means you have been given the opportunity to make that life meaningful. You are clearly here on earth to do something with that gift.

Knowing you should not even be alive, that your existence defies the laws of probability, means that anything is possible. You can realize those dreams. You can achieve those goals. You can become successful. You can become rich. The life of your dreams is not impossible.

Be grateful for the opportunity life has given you. Stop thinking it’s Impossible and start thinking “I’m Possible”. Go after your dreams. Pursue your goals. Never quit on them. You’re here and, statistically, you shouldn’t be. That means all is possible. 

Like him or not, Donald Trump stood out. His Presidential campaign was successful because he was seen as not part of the herd that had ignored so many Americans – the so-called establishment: Democrats, Republicans, government and the media.

There is risk stepping outside the herd. Herds offer protection. There is power in numbers. But successful people do just that – they step outside the herd. They blaze their own path. And if you want to succeed, you must stand out from the crowd.

Fitting in only allows you to be as successful as the herd. Standing apart from the herd, while risky, offers you unlimited opportunity for success. The ultimate objective in stepping outside the herd is to pull others into your herd.

That’s what successful, wealthy people do best – they create new herds and get others to join in. Eventually, their herds grow large enough to get the attention of others. Not wanted to be left out of the new herd, they jump on board. Think Facebook, Apple, Amazon. These companies separated themselves from the mainstream and formed their own separate herds. Success, and eventually, wealth followed. Now millions have joined their herds, making the founders billionaires.

It takes courage to separate yourself from the crowd. Fear holds most back from leaving the comfort of their herds. But wealth does not come to those who fit in. Wealth, instead, is drawn to those who stand out from the crowd. If success and wealth is something you desire you must stand out and escape the herd.

Martin Seligman is a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania. In one of his studies on happiness he found that people fall into one of three categories:

1. Pleasure Seekers – These are individuals who seek happiness on a daily basis. People in this category seek happiness through consumption – buying things or buying experiences. They purchase expensive cars, expensive homes, boats, planes, the latest gadgets, furniture, cloths, etc. They also spend their money on experiences: exotic vacations, cruises, travel to foreign countries, skydiving, Las Vegas to gamble, helicopter skying, amusement parks, zorbing, running with the bulls, etc. They pursue the acquisition of things or experiences that result in immediate gratification. For these individuals, happiness is always elusive. Once the novelty of their purchase wears off or the experience ends, they are back to being unhappy.
2. Dream Seekers – These are individuals who pursue some dream. They immerse themselves for years in activities that will one day pay dividends in the form of realizing a dream. Those dividends often take the form of more wealth and more freedom to do things they could never afford to do. They find happiness in the pursuit of achieving the goals that eventually lead to the realization of their dreams. Since realizing a dream requires many years, they experience happiness every time they engage in their dream activity. This happiness can last for many years.
3. Fulfillment Seekers – These individuals pursue activities that bring meaning to their lives. They are focused on adding value to the lives of others. They may or may not be pursuing a dream. They may or may not be interested accumulating wealth. Wealth, to them, is not the goal. Doing what they love, what they are passionate about, is the goal. Fulfillment seekers are the only true happy people. They are happy every day they are able to do what they love.