Archives for February 2016

Face to face meetings with individuals is the most effective means of communication and relationship building. But face to face meetings demand more of your time. When the telephone came along it made it easier for individuals to communicate with each other. Travel time to get to the other person was no longer a factor. As a result, calling those you wanted to maintain a relationship with became easier. Then email came along. Emails were an even more convenient way to communicate with others because they allowed us to shoot out a few short sentences, back and forth, in order to maintain or grow the relationship. Then instant messaging became the new rage, making communication even more convenient. Instant messaging soon evolved into Facebook and Twitter, which was faster than email. Once Facebook, Twitter and other similar communication platforms were integrated into smart phones, soon everyone was communicating via something that came to be known as social media. The Convenience Principle is the reason we have phones, cell phones, email, social media, McDonald’s, Starbucks, Malls and offices in our homes.

The power of convenience makes it possible to do things we might not otherwise do. For example, Facebooking someone a happy birthday message instead of blocking off an hour or more to meet them for lunch or instead of blocking off 10 minutes to talk to them on the phone, makes saying happy birthday (a Rich Habit, by the way) easy. We all like to take the easiest route.

This same principle can be applied to habits. When we make a new habit easy to do, we’ll do it. When it’s hard, we won’t. If you want to read more, make sure whatever it is you want to read is easily accessible. If you want to eat healthier food, put your apple on the kitchen table and the potato chips in the garage. If you want to jog, put your sneakers and workout clothes on the floor by your bed. Make your new habit so easy and convenient that your brain doesn’t have to overcome any obstacles to engage in the habit. Make success habits so convenient you will want to engage in them every day.

Our public education system in the U.S. has an agenda. It is working overtime to indoctrinate our children to accept it’s success plan. What is that success plan? Go to college, get a good job, get promoted and after 30 years retire and live off your savings and retirement money, supplemented by Social Security.

The 99%’s who follow this success plan eventually find out it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because employers don’t cooperate. They have this habit of firing people when business slows or the economy falters.

Fortunately, there are some out there who don’t buy in to the public school success plan. I like to call them the 1%’s. These 1%’s, at least from what my research tells me, were indoctrinated by their parents or some mentor in their lives, to follow a very different success plan. The success plan they follow is to go for their dreams. Take a risk and be daring. Build goals around those dreams and pursue those goals.

Under this success plan, the 1%’s are taught to never put their ladder on someone else’s wall by following someone else’s life plan or someone else’s dreams for them. They are encouraged to pursue their own dreams, to grow their knowledge base through daily self-education and to hone their skills until their skills put them in the top 1% of performers in their industry, career or niche.

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you are already one of those who has learned the hard way that the public school success plan doesn’t work. You’re frustrated, disillusioned, and maybe more than a little pissed off that you were led down the wrong path in life. But, you’re also not dead. Which means you can change the success plan you’ve been following. Today’s a good day to do that.

If I were to boil success down to two success characteristics they would be Grit and Growth.

Those with Grit never quit on their dreams and their goals. No number of obstacles, rejections or failures that life throws at them stops them from pursuing their dreams and goals. They simply go at it every day and never stop trying.

Grit is acquired by two means: habit and passion. Individuals raised from a young age in an environment in which they must fight for every scrap develop the habit of grit. Those without this habit, nonetheless can acquire the grit characteristic by being raised from a young age in an environment that encourages them to pursue their passions in life. Grit is often joined at the hip with passion. Passion provides the motivation to never quit.

Those who are perpetually growing, seek to expand their knowledge and skills on a daily basis. A growth mindset is acquired by three means: habit, inborn and passion. Individuals raised at a young age in an environment that encourages daily learning develop the habit of growing every day. Those not raised in such an environment, nonetheless, may possess this characteristic if they are born curious. Fortunately, curiosity seems to be an innate human trait. We are, to some extent, and some more than others, innately curious. So curiosity is hard wired into our humanity. Those not raised in a growth environment or weak in curiosity can still acquire this characteristic. Pursuing something you are passionate about can transform even the most disinterested person into a growth fanatic.

The common denominator for Grit and Growth is passion. No matter your circumstances in life or your genetic makeup, passion is the great equalizer.

Those who find their WHY in life, find their passion to pursue something with a fanatical persistence that virtually guarantees they will succeed. When you find your WHY, there is no lack of knowledge, no obstacle, no NO that will stop you. Your WHY motivates you every day so you can keep pushing the ball up the hill. There’s no question that when you find your WHY, you know it. There is never any doubt. If you are unsure about whether you have found your WHY, you haven’t. But finding your WHY is not that easy. You can either wait for your WHY to find you, or you can go out and find it yourself. So, where do you begin?

There are many places to look but, from my research, I have discovered that your WHY typically can be found inside one of the following Freedoms:

• Freedom from poverty
• Freedom from financial worry
• Freedom from debt
• Freedom from “work”, employment or being a wage slave
• Freedom from your current responsibilities
• Freedom from others currently in your life
• Freedom from your current life and environment
• Freedom to travel
• Freedom to spend more time with the ones you love
• Freedom from addictions
• Freedom from poor health
• Freedom to live your life on your own terms
• Freedom from dependence on others
• Freedom from time pressures
• Freedom to learn and pursue novel, or new things

Don’t wait for your WHY to find you. Go out and find it yourself. It’s out there, waiting to be discovered. It is the light switch that, when found, will turn on some passion that resides deep inside of you. Your WHY can usually be found inside some freedom you desire. Each morning find a quiet place, sit down for 10 minutes, close your eyes, silence your mind and focus your thoughts on one singular thing: What is my WHY? This puts the old brain (subconscious – aka limbic system and brain stem) to work. In time, your old brain will find the answer and let you know through intuition (that voice inside your head).

It is virtually impossible, for most individuals, to immediately abstain from a bad habit. It requires enormous willpower and willpower is a very limited resource. Willpower appropriates too much brain fuel (glucose). Eventually the brain runs out of brain fuel and willpower fades, forcing us to fall back on bad habits. But there is a way to train your brain to release you from bad habits that does not demand too much brain fuel.

Instead of going cold turkey on a bad habit, continue to engage in the bad habit, but reduce your engagement in the habit by 50%. The brain will not fight you on this because it requires a minimum expense of willpower. Once you have trained yourself to engage in a bad habit at a reduced rate of 50%, that 50% becomes the new habit in about 30 days. After 30 days you can then reduce your engagement another 50%. After a few months you will be able to abstain from the bad habit altogether without any push back from your brain.

In 1938 Harvard University embarked on what would become the longest study of adult development. The study involved 724 men who were split into two groups:

1. 268 sophomore students from Harvard University and
2. 456 sixteen year olds from the most disadvantaged areas in Boston

There have been 4 directors at Harvard who have continued this study. Sixty of the 724 subjects are still alive. Four conclusions have been made about happiness:

1. Loneliness Kills – People with little to no relationships are unhappy, less healthy and do not live long lives.
2. Toxic Relationships Kill – Relationships with individuals who have problems and bring conflict and stress into our lives cause unhappiness, poor health and reduced longevity.
3. Rich Relationships Improve Life – Relationships with individuals who lift us up and improve our lives make us happier, healthier and live longer.
4. The Stronger and More Rich Relationships You Have, the Better – Strong Rich Relationships increase brain function, health and longevity.

Our brain is really two brains. The New Brain (neocortex) and the Old Brain (Brain Stem and Limbic System). The New Brain has only been around for a few hundred thousands years. From a human evolutionary perspective, the New Brain is brand new. It is the CEO of the brain and houses our executive functions. Some refer to it as the conscious brain. The Old Brain has been around for millions of millions of years. From an evolutionary perspective, the Old Brain is very old. It houses all of our emotions and controls most of autonomic functions of the body, like keeping our organs working properly without any thinking required. Some refer to is as the subconscious brain.

Because our Old Brain, our emotional brain, has been around so much longer than our New Brain, it is infinitely more powerful than our New Brain. This can be a good or a bad thing. If we have been raised in a negative environment and thus, habituated or programmed at an early age with negative emotions, then our emotional brain becomes our enemy. It will undermine us during our entire lives with outbursts of anger that destroy relationships, tell us to quit when the going gets tough, fill us with a scarcity mindset using envy and jealousy as its tools and it will demand instant gratification every chance it gets. When your emotional brain is filled with negative emotions you have absolutely no chance of succeeding in life. You will fail.

If you were raised in a negative environment, or are filled with all sorts of limiting, negative beliefs, all is not lost. You still have your New Brain to rescue you. Your New Brain can be called into action to help reprogram your emotional brain from negative to positive. And it’s not hard at all. It’s just a three-step process. The first part of the process is to engage in something I call Dream-Setting. The second part is expressing gratitude every day for the things you have. Gratitude is the gateway to optimism and a positive mindset. The third part is to create daily affirmations around new beliefs you would like to have. Examples: “I believe I can accomplish anything if I put my mind to it,” “I am confident in myself,” “I will lose 30 pounds by May,” “I love to exercise”.  Customize your affirmations to reflect the future ideal person you desire to be. These affirmations are programmed into the Old Brain as if they were goals to pursue. The Old Brain loves goals, so it will nudge you through that voice inside your head to take certain actions. As long as you continue to repeat these affirmations, the Old Brain will continue to nudge you. It won’t stop nudging you. It will nudge you in your sleep, in the shower, on the toilet, while your commuting to work, when you’re sitting on the couch or turning into a McDonalds.

As soon as you begin to shift your Old Brain from negative to positive, it will immediately begin to produce positive emotions and suppress negative emotions. It’s automatic. Stay positive my friends!