There are certain habits that help you to respond positively and constructively to negative life events. These Response Habits get you back on track and enable you to respond to those negative life events in a way that alters the trajectory of your life forever:

• Self-Improvement Response – When a wrench takes you off track, that is the time to figure out what went wrong, learn from it and make improvements that will help you become better, stronger, smarter than before.
• Constructive Response – Life has a way of throwing wrenches onto the tracks of our lives. How we respond, how we react, to a wrench on the track, is a habit. We can wallow in self-pity, laying in bed for days at a time, or we can do something constructive in response to one of life’s wrenches. When a wrench takes you off the track, those who lead happy, healthy and successful lives, force themselves back on the track by doing something that actually serves to improve their lives – they channel the negativity of the event into running, exercising, healthy eating, self-improvement or some other constructive pursuit.
• Re-Design Your Life Response – When things go wrong, that is the time to Dream-Set. Dream-Setting is the process of re-designing your life by mapping out the new life you desire. Some call it journaling. I like to call it scripting your ideal, perfect life. Scripting is a process in which you take yourself 5 – 10 years into the future and then write a script (1,000 words or more) about your future, ideal life. This scripting process helps you get back on track, allowing you to design the life of your dreams. It becomes your blueprint for the life you decide to create.
• Tenacity Response – Wrenches take many form: setbacks, obstacles, breakups, divorce, job loss, health issues and other negative life events. Those who have forged the habit of Tenacity, take the bull by the horns and power through those negative life events. They do not submit to life, they conquer – they overcome the event by forcing themselves onto another track so they can keep moving forward.

Negative life events are a part of life. How you respond to them, however, is a habit. Will your response perpetuate the negativity or use it to change the trajectory of your life in a positive, constructive way?

Pursuing a dream is hard. It’s hard physically and it’s hard emotionally. Many who fail, are able to handle the hard work part but unable to handle the emotional part.

The ups and downs of pursuing a dream can last many years. Some are able to persist, but most are not and quit the battle.

The ones who persevere almost always have one thing in common besides passion – they have cheerleaders.

Cheerleaders are often the only thing standing between you and throwing in the towel. They are that incredibly important extra something that separates the winners from the losers.

I recently finished a great book called The Match. The book chronicles the amazing lives of golfers Ben Hogan, Byron Nelson, Ken Venturi and Harvey Ward.

When Ben Hogan turned professional, he struggled mightily. He even borrowed money from his new father-in-law to help fund his travel costs during one of his summer tours.

Hogan, one of the greatest golfers to have ever played the game, suffered through many years of eking out a living and barely getting by.

After getting knocked out of one too many tournaments, he hit a breaking point. He came home to his wife, threw his golf clubs on the floor and told his wife he had had enough. He was quitting golf.

His wife sat him down and told him that he was a great golfer. She said no one worked as hard as he did and that one day, very soon, he would win a tournament.

The very next month Hogan won his first professional golf tournament. What soon followed was a string of wins that put him at the top of the earnings list in professional golf.

We all need a cheerleaders in our lives but how do you find them?

By surrounding yourself with upbeat, optimistic people. When the majority of your inner circle is made up of positive, upbeat individuals, you will find cheerleaders everywhere you turn.

I love to study rich people and poor people. They always have pearls of wisdom, forged in the fire of experience, that force you to reevaluate the way you go about your life or how you think about things.

I was recently doing some research on Jon Taffer, the host of the award-winning show Bar Rescue.

One of the things Jon said really made me think. He said, “never allow anyone to rush you into making a decision. When you feel rushed, this puts you in crisis mode and causes you to make bad decisions.”

I’ve spent the better part of five years studying the brain. One of the important findings I made was that when we are under enormous stress, when we are in crisis mode, a part of the brain called the amygdala takes over. When it does, it partially shuts down the prefrontal cortex, the decision-making, command and control center of the brain.

When the prefrontal cortex is usurped by the amygdala, we become mindless zombies, unaware of important things going on around us in our environment and our lives.

You can see this in victims of accidents who go into shock. Shock victims are typically unresponsive, practically catatonic, unable to even hear the EMS people talking to them. When you go into shock, your amygdala takes over and your prefrontal cortex virtually shuts down.

When you allow negative emotions to control you, something similar, albeit watered down, is taking place. The amygdala becomes more active and the prefrontal cortex, less active. Making important decisions while in a negative emotional state can thus be catastrophic.

When you make a habit of allowing your negative emotions to control you, you are habituating poor decision-making.

This is why one of the Rich Habits is controlling your emotions. Those who make a habit of controlling their emotions allow their amazing prefrontal cortex to do its job; helping them to make good, sound decisions that benefit their lives.

In October, 2000, Tom Labrecque died at the age of 62. He was the Ex-CEO of Chase Manhattan Bank. His obituary stopped me in my tracks. Among his many accomplishments:

• Youngest member of Chase’s Management Committee.
• Served on the committee that helped resolve New York City’s financial crisis in the late 1970’s.
• Spent 4 years in the United States Navy, rising to the rank of a full lieutenant.
• Served on a destroyer during the Cuban missile crisis and headed a section of the Office of Naval Intelligence, deploying ships in the blockade off Cuba.
• Served as chairman of Chase’s International Advisory Council.
• Served on the board of trustees for the University of Notre Dame.
• Was a Director of Pfizer Inc.
• Was a Director of Delphi Automotive Systems.
• Served as a trustee for the Hospital for Special Surgery.
• Volunteered for many other organizations, too numerous to mention.

One of the many individuals who worked with Tom, a man by the name of Mr. Price, said Tom was by far the best CEO he had ever worked with.

Some people, like Tom Labrecque, strive to do good because they believe they were put here on this planet to be of service to others.

I came to bare witness to this in my five-year study of self-made millionaires. Seventy-two percent volunteered for some non-profit organization at least five hour per month. Many volunteered more than five hours a month.

Self-made millionaires forge habits of service that propel them to great heights in life. They give of their time and their money. They seek to enrich the lives of everyone around them.

They leave footprints in the hearts of others. That is their legacy. And when they die, their obituary reflects their devotion to service.

What will your obituary say?

One of the 144 questions I asked the rich and poor people in my Rich Habits Study surrounded morning routines. What I found interesting was that, over and over again, the response from the rich people was that they did some form of daily aerobic exercise (jog, bike, elliptical, walk, etc.) for about 30 minutes a day.

This caught me by surprise because I had, for whatever reason, forged a perception of the rich as fat and indulgent. Their responses, however, indicated otherwise. In fact, 76% of the rich in my study indicated that they exercised aerobically 30 minutes or more, four days a week.

Why is this so important?

Well, besides the obvious reasons that daily aerobic exercise keeps you lean and healthy, I also learned from further research that daily aerobic exercise also dramatically reduces stress.

Chronic stress causes a domino effect of processes within the body that lead to heart disease, cancer, obesity, Type II Diabetes and other debilitating diseases. But, also, chronic stress impairs the brain.

Researchers at Brigham Young University recently discovered that chronic or prolonged stress weakens the synapses (electrical connections between brain cells) in the hippocampus, where the brain forms and consolidates long-term memory (AKA Long-Term Potentiation).

Whether or not the rich people in my study were aware of it, their aerobic exercise habit was making them smarter.

One of the hallmarks of the rich in my study, particularly the self-made rich, was the daily habit of pursuing knowledge through daily reading (to learn, not for recreation). Acquiring knowledge, particularly in your career or vocation, helps you to become a virtuoso in your field and virtuoso’s get paid more than others. So, knowing more than your competition translates into increased income and, thus, increased wealth.

Combining this acquisition of knowledge with daily aerobic exercise results in increased retention of that knowledge. So, by combining two important habits – Reading to learn and daily aerobic exercise, the rich were making themselves smarter by improving brain performance.

If you engage in just these two Rich Habits, over a lifetime, you gain an enormous competitive advantage over your competition.

Thirty-four percent of the self-made millionaires in my Rich Habits Study failed at least once in business or their careers. That’s a huge number. And a revealing statistic.

Failing in life, it seems, unleashed something deep inside these future millionaires that forced enormous change which eventually propelled them to great achievement.

Catastrophic life events have a dramatic impact on the trajectory of our lives. Adversity is the crucible that reveals our inner true character.

Researchers at Oregon State University studied 50 older adults aged 56 – 91, all of whom had experienced a catastrophic event in their lives. According to Carolyn Aldwin, the director of study, difficult times became a catalyst for massive change in the lives of the participants of the study. And this massive change forever changed the path or trajectory of their lives.

In my Rich Habits research, I discovered that old habits die hard. However, my research also revealed something else; something unexpected and amazing.

In the aftermath of some catastrophic life event, such as a job loss, death of a loved one, battling cancer or outright failure, old habits fall like a house of cards, replaced by new, improved habits which lead to massive positive change.

These catastrophic life events help usher in massive habit change that can lead you down the path towards success and enormous wealth accumulation.

There are many out there who are battling with some life event that has taken the legs out from underneath them. You are not alone.

There is a great reservoir of strength deep inside each one of us. While in the grips of catastrophe, we do not see it, we do not feel it, but it is there nonetheless.

When the time is right your inner strength will be revealed and will usher in massive change that will forever transform your life for the better. This low point in your life is actually the catalyst for what will become your new amazing life. Stay strong and never surrender to life. Never ever quit on yourself. You are greater than you ever imagined yourself to be.

I’ve come to admire the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts because, through their badge programs, they institutionalize one of the most powerful Rich Habits that I uncovered in my five-year Rich Habits Study – Experimentation.

Why is experimentation critical to success in life?

In my study, I identified three groups of self-made millionaires: Entrepreneurs, Executives and Saver-Investors.

By far, the wealthiest in my study happened to be Entrepreneurs, with an average net liquid wealth of $7.4 million, which they accumulated over an average of twelve years. They accumulated twice the wealth in half the time of the Executives and Savers.

Why were the Entrepreneurs able to accumulate so much more wealth and why did it take them so much less time?

Entrepreneurs are experimenters. They experiment with different activities until they find one they are good at or passionate about.

Experimentation helps expose an innate talent or passion.

When you discover an innate talent or something that makes your heart sing, you find yourself wanting to engage in that activity all the time. As a result, you spend much more time engaging in the activity and this deliberate practice eventually transforms you into a virtuoso with respect to that activity.

Many of the self-made millionaires I studied had one thing in common – at some point during their lives they discovered an innate talent or something that made their heart sing. They then devoted the rest of their lives practicing it, perfecting it, and eventually becoming an expert in it.

Because experts provide more added-value, they receive a premium for their services and are able to accumulate more wealth.

Experimentation reveals your calling in life – an innate talent or a passion. When you find the thing you were supposed to do, life rewards you twice. The first reward is happiness and a sense of fulfillment. The other reward, wealth, is simply the icing on the cake.

Reading to learn for 30 minutes a day, every day – boring.

Jogging for 30 minutes a day, every day – boring.

Studying important facts, related to your job or profession, every day – boring.

Practicing a skill over and over again, every day – boring.

As you’ve read here many times, motivation is not necessary for success. Passion and motivation gets you started but habits keep you going.

The problem is that most habits are just plain boring. Yes, routine, habits, following proven processes every day are all very boring.

But, that is what it takes to succeed.

The self-made millionaires in my Rich Habits study are cut from the same cloth as everyone else. And, just like everyone else, they are bored most of the time.

But the difference is they power through the boredom. They continue doing what they have to do in order to keep moving forward towards the realization of their dreams and their goals.

So, it’s okay if you’re bored most of the time. It’s just not okay if you stop doing what you need to do, due to boredom.