In the movie Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a cyborg who is programmed to kill Sarah Connor. In one scene, John Connor, who is transported back in time to stop Arnold, tells Sarah: “That terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.”  The Terminator is programmed to never quit until it succeeds with it’s objective or dies trying.

In my Rich Habits study I discovered a similar Terminator-type programming inherent in self-made millionaires – self-belief. Self-belief creates the passion (emotional fuel) to move you to act. This action results in many mistakes, failures, learning, self-correction, growth and then ultimately success. Self-belief transforms you into a success-seeking machine that will not stop, will never quit, until you succeed or die trying. Self-belief unleashes your inner terminator.

In his book, A Prescription For Happiness (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Prescription-Happiness-Commitments-Happier-Healthier-ebook/dp/B00UZ2ATJU/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1427311073&sr=8-4&keywords=a+prescription+for+happiness), Dr. Mark Rowe explains that in order to be truly happy we need to pursue good health in five key areas:

1. Physical Health (diet, exercise and Health IQ)
2. Psychological Health (stress, distress and destress)
3. Relationship Health (you become who you interact with)
4. Emotional Health (is your EQ affecting your IQ)
5. Legacy Health (are you achieving your potential)

What’s unique about Dr. Rowe’s happiness philosophy is the notion that the pursuit of permanent happiness is an itch that drives many of us to become overachievers, to excel in life. Attaining permanent happiness would be catastrophic. It would stop us in our tracks, ending our quest for excellence and mastery in life. The very fact that permanent happiness is unattainable is actually a blessing in disguise. Food for thought, my friends.

Do your homework or you can’t go out an play.

We hated hearing those words as kids. Homework was a chore. Something most of us dreaded, like going to the dentist or going shopping for clothes. It wasn’t fun at all. Why? Because to us it wasn’t our homework. It was someone else’s. It was a mandate that came from our teachers. As humans, we are hard-wired to distain doing someone else’s homework.

In a recent study, 71% polled admitted to not liking their job. Why? They didn’t like their job because they were doing someone else’s homework. They were working on someone else’s goals and life dream. In the adult world it’s not a teacher but some boss who is giving us homework to do.

When we pursue our own goals and dreams the work we do becomes our homework. Our perception changes. The work ceases to be a chore and we are infused with passion. We can work 14 hour days when we’re working for ourselves; when we’re doing our own homework. And that is the key to success in life. Is it any wonder that the vast majority of the self-made millionaires in the world are business owners? When we are working on our goals and our dreams, its not a chore. It becomes our life’s purpose.

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”  Patanjali

We accumulate habits in life. There are many sources that are responsible for the habits we have but, by far, those we associate with on a regular basis have the most influence over the habits we adopt. In my Rich Habits research, I uncovered 12 sources of habits, the majority of which are association habits. The #1 source of these Habits By Association is our parents. Many of our adult habits were forged in childhood by adopting habits we were exposed to at home. Secondary influencers in their order of importance are: mentors, teachers, spouses ( or significant others), friends, our culture, our neighborhood, schoolmates, sports teams, school clubs and the Kardashians. I mean, celebrities, not Kardashians. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention there.

While there is not much we can do about the habits we pick up from our parents as children, there is a great deal we can do as adults. We can choose which habits we adopt or cast aside by changing who we associate with. Associating with the right people dramatically affect your habits. By right people, I am referring to success-minded individuals; upbeat, positive, goal-oriented people. These individuals represent only about 5-10% of the population, so you have to make an effort to find them. They can be found running charitable groups, business groups, religious groups, within mentor groups (Boys and Girls Club, iMentor etc), at the best companies (http://fortune.com/best-companies/), in trade organizations and in mastermind groups. You have to seek out those you want to associate, who have those good habits that are so critical to success in life.

What you do every day matters. Consistency drives success and failure. Your actions, on a daily basis, determine if you will succeed, fail or just get by in life. Those who succeed in life consistently avoid bad habits and consistently follow good habits. Those who fail in life consistently avoid good habits and consistently follow bad habits. Those who get by in life are inconsistent in their application of good habits and bad habits. Consistency forges a life of success, failure or mediocrity.

Is your business struggling? Do you tell yourself every day how hard you work? Most people do. The purpose of this tip is to give you a little dose of reality. So here goes:

Success in business is actually a very simple two part formula:

1. You do the work you should be doing for those you serve and
2. You produce results that meet the expectations of those you serve.

If your business is struggling, the reality is that whatever work you are doing is not producing results for those you serve and that is why your business is struggling. 

How do you know you are not doing the work you should be doing? Very simple: You know you are not doing the work you should be doing when you are not producing results that meet the expectations of those you serve.

How do you know you are not producing the results that meet the expectations of those you serve? You eventually lose their business; those you serve begin to drift away to find others who will produce results that will meet their expectations. When you lose their business it’s actually a triple loss of business revenues: #1 you not only lose the business you have currently, #2 you also lose any new projects and #3 you lose referrals that would have been.

Doing the right work + produce results that meet expectations = successful businesses. Those who value your service will never leave you and will be happy to pay you more money to do more work for them and will refer others to you so long as you continue to produce results and meet their expectations in everything you do.

There’s a process to building a house, once you own the land:

1. Draw up Blueprints
2. Construct the House

Seems pretty simple doesn’t it? Each component of your house must be defined in the blueprint and then built: the kitchen, bathrooms, family room, dining room, bedrooms, and anything else you want your house to have, are the components of your house.

Constructing an ideal, happy and successful life is no different. It’s the same process. In the case of your ideal life, the components of your life’s blueprint are all of the things that make a perfect life: the job you want to have, what you would love to do for a living, the place you want to live, the life partner you’d like to share your life with, the places you’d like to travel to, the wealth you’d like to accumulate etc. These are known as dreams. You start building your ideal life by defining all of your dreams which, when taken together, become the blueprint of your life.

Your goals are your construction team. You need to define all of the goals that will make all of your dreams become a reality. You design your goals around each dream. One dream could require the achievement of one, five or ten goals. The realization of each dream happens when you accomplish the series of goals that are required in order for each specific dream to be realized. It’s just like building a house. The kitchen requires the completion of certain tasks. Each task, each goal, needs to be competed in order to build your kitchen. Then you move on to the bathrooms, family room, dining room, bedrooms and anything else that will be included in your house. Each specific component of your house requires the completion of certain tasks. Each life dream requires the completion of certain goals.

Designing your ideal life is a construction project.

Ever wonder what it takes to realize a dream? Look no further than Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold first gained international celebrity as a professional body builder and then went on to become a Hollywood celebrity and politician. But it all started for Arnold when, as a teenager, he stumbled upon a magazine featuring Reg Park, the famous actor who played Hercules in a very popular Italian movie series that began back in 1961. Inspired by Park, Arnold began working out with weights and his dream of becoming the world’s greatest bodybuilder was born. Arnold’s single-minded focus on realizing his dream is legendary. Two months prior to a Mr. Olympia bodybuilding contest, Arnold’s father died. His mother pleaded with him to return to Austria to attend the funeral. Arnold said no. He told his mom it would distract him from his training for the contest. Years later, Arnold would confess that his decision, although the right one for him because he won the title, damaged his relationship with his mother and his girlfriend. Neither could understand how his dream took precedence over the death of his father. But Arnold’s dream did take precedence. It took precedence over every part of his life.

Arnold picked up his first barbell in 1960. Ten years later he earned his first Mr. Olympia title. Ten years dedicated to pursuing one singular dream. Arnold would apply his laser-like focus in pursuing other dreams, such as becoming a famous actor and, much later in life, Governor of California. Arnold taught us the importance of pursuing your dreams in crafting a successful life. Realizing your dreams in life requires an almost superhuman, long-term, laser-like focus and commitment.

“The foundation of success is built upon a mountain of mistakes. The more mistakes you make in life, the higher your mountain will be. The higher your mountain, the greater your success.” Yours truly

I love kicking off many of my speaking engagements with this quote because it forces people to re-think mistakes. We need to embrace mistakes. While mistakes hurt -they cost us time and money – they have the effect of altering behavior. They force us to change course and move in a different direction. Mistakes are our GPS guidance system for success. But mistakes only act as a GPS guidance system when we are aware of and then learn something from the mistakes we are making.

If you are struggling in life, one of the reasons is that you are repeating your mistakes. Why would anyone repeat a mistake? Lack of awareness and learning. You are not mindful of the mistakes you are making which means you cannot learn from them. The cure is tracking your mistakes. Every one of them. Here’s what you need to do:

For one month, track every wonderful mistake you make every day. Carry around a little notepad in your pocket and, for one month, write down every single mistake you make every single day. At the end of the month review your list. Search for duplicate mistakes; those that repeat. This tracking process will force you to become aware of your mistakes, particularly the ones that you are repeating. Only after you become aware of your mistakes can you learn from them and change them.

Pursuing success is not easy. Particularly for those who are directly affected by your journey. Most of that journey is fraught with failure, mistakes and sacrifice, without any certainty that you will succeed. Many quit, not because they lack perseverance, but because their family life is jeopardized by the pursuit. The long hours, single-minded focus and the financial investment take a toll on those around you; those you love. It’s one of life’s great ironies – pursuing success in the hope of providing a better life for your family, only to lose your family because of the pursuit. This is why those few who do persevere, despite all the costs, are exceptional human beings, deserving of the enormous rewards of success. It takes superhuman effort, not only for the individual pursuing success, but for those loved ones who suffer along with you during your journey.

I suppose the tip this morning is to not take your loved ones for granted. They are suffering along with you. Every failure, every setback, every mistake takes a toll on them as well. So stop what you are doing every now and then and give them a hug and a kiss. Let them know you love them and need them to stand by you during this journey. Your passion may nourish you and enable you to power through all the setbacks, but your loved ones are not the shared beneficiaries of your passion. Their nourishment can only come from your love and appreciation for their support because the cost of the success journey is enormous on everyone.