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“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.”  Charles Schwab

Criticism is necessary for success. You need feedback from others. But all too often that feedback is mired in negative, destructive criticism that lacks any real specific advice or help. “The reason you’re not selling more is your product sucks.” “You’re bossy, arrogant, pompous, (fill in the blank).” You’re failing because you’re bad at what you do, you’re doing it all wrong or you need to change what you’re doing.”

While most of that may be true, it lacks any constructive, specific feedback. You’re wasting your time listening to it. Most criticism you will receive, is unfortunately going to be this negative, generalized destructive type of criticism and not the positive, specific, constructive type you need. These Booleaders offer only negative criticism because they, themselves, have little to no idea how to help you. They’ve never succeeded in doing what you are doing, so their advice must be general and lack any specific, constructive feedback. This type of negative, destructive criticism only brings you down; it deflates you, slowing you down or stopping you on your path to success.

When you are pursuing a dream, big goal or your purpose in life, you absolutely must seek out only those who offer positive, specific, constructive criticism. You need to seek out Cheerleaders and not Booleaders. Cheerleaders offer constructive feedback that will help you succeed. Their criticism has tremendous value because they know what they are talking about. Their knowledge is valuable because they succeeded in doing what you are doing, or they have a track record of helping others like you succeed. They have gravitas by virtue of their previous success.  If you want to succeed in realizing your dream you must surround yourself with Cheerleaders and not Booleaders.

“Hire fanatics. They are the only employees who always get things done.”   Ed Koch, former Mayor of New York City

Obsession can a good thing. When you become obsessed with something, that is an indication that you are on the path to finding your main purpose in life. Obsession pushes you to accomplish your goals and realize your dreams. 64% of the self-made millionaires in my study were obsessed with achieving one, singular long-term goal. Obsession creates persistence and persistence was the #1 trait common among all of the self-made millionaire in my study. When you become a fanatic about something you are pursuing, obstacles no longer stand in your way. Mistakes and failure become learning experiences. No’s and rejection have little relevance. When you become a fanatic, success is inevitable.

One person can change the circumstances of another person’s life. My 6th grade science teacher inspired me to become a good student by challenging my limiting belief, at the time, that I was stupid. Thanks to Ms. Summers, I went on to: become a B+ student, college, then grad school, a CPA, CFP, an author and a professional speaker. She made me believe in myself. We are all put on this earth to help lift others up, to be a mentor and a role model. Be an elevator, it’s what we were all born to do.

In order for change to occur in your life, two things must happen:

#1 Awareness and

#2 Tracking

Most people are blissfully ignorant about the habits that are responsible for creating the circumstances of their lives. They are content to blame outside forces for their lot in life. So, Awareness is a critical first step to habit change. You must stop and think about what you are doing before any change can take place.

Darren Hardy, publisher of SUCCESS Magazine and author of The Compound Effect, goes into great detail in his book about the importance of tracking that which you are trying to change. If you don’t track that which you are trying to change, how can you change? Tracking, therefore, is the key second variable to habit change.

Example: You’re 30 pounds overweight. You become mindful of the food you are eating and realize some of that food might be high in calories. So, to find out, you decide to track exactly what you eat every day. It only takes you a few days to realize, thanks to your calorie tracking, that you are eating 3,500 calories or more each day. After reviewing your tracking, you realize that some of the foods you eat regularly are high in calories. Now you can change. You can cut back on the high calorie foods, reduce your daily caloric intake and lose those 30 pounds.

The answer is Yes, you can change, but only through Awareness and Tracking.

Body Mass Index (BMI) is a measure of how much fat you are carrying around. The closer your BMI is to 25, the better. It means you are carrying around less fat. The closer your BMI is to 30, not so good. It means you approaching obese. According to Dr. Daniel Amen, in his book Change Your Brain Change Your Life, obesity causes 8 different types of diseases, which include: Type II diabetes, heart disease and certain cancers.

Here’s a breakdown of the BMI ranges:

• Underweight: Your BMI is less than 18.5
• Healthy weight: Your BMI is 18.5 to 24.9
• Overweight: Your BMI is 25 to 29.9
• Obese: Your BMI is 30 or higher

The math formula for determining your own, specific BMI involves 3 steps:

Step #1 Your weight in pounds X 703

Step #2 Your height in inches X your height in inches again (Height in inches squared)

Step #3 Divide the number in Step #1 by the number in Step #2

Example: A 6 foot 2 male weighing 187.6 pounds has a BMI of 24.08 calculated as follows:

Step#1      187.6 x 703 = 131,883

Step #2     74 inches X 74 inches = 5,476

Step #3     131,883 / 5,476 = 24.08

WEBMD has a great chart here is you don’t want to do the math: http://www.webmd.com/men/weight-loss-bmi

Note: A friend of mine pointed out to me that BMI is not a good measure of fat for those who regularly lift weights and I agree. Muscle weighs 3 times more than fat. BMI’s relevance is for non-weight lifters.

You are only as successful as the people who are part of your dream team. A good team works relentlessly every day in moving you forward toward the realization of your dream. They must all be actively promoting your product or service every day. It’s a daily group effort. Is every member of your team taking persistent action on a daily basis that creates positive results? Can you identify tangible contributions the members of your team have made? Or are they unfocused and distracted by their own separate, personal goals? Have you achieved your stated goals?

If your goals and dream remains elusive, it is because members on your team are not pulling the same cart. They are, instead, focused on their own personal agenda. They are not working to help you realize your dream, but rather their own dreams. If you are an entrepreneur who has been pursuing a dream for some time and that dream still remains elusive, it is a clear sign that you have the wrong players on your team and it’s time to change your dream team

In my research, I found that self-made millionaires were dedicated to daily growth and daily self-improvement. Each day, they sought to increase their knowledge through reading, listening to audio books, listening to podcasts, watching educational video, attending seminars, webinars, tele-seminars,  participating in formal or informal mastermind groups and asking questions of others to gain more insight and expertise. This enabled them to grow their knowledge and skills each day and evolve into the person they needed to become in order to realize success. Success is not a random event. It is a process. A big part of that process requires that you adopt the Rich Habit of daily self-improvement.

The path through hell, unfortunately, also happens to be the path to riches for self-made millionaires. Success isn’t easy. You must overcome failure, mistakes, obstacles, pitfalls and constant rejection. It’s not an easy path. But for those who are somehow able to soldier on, it is well worth the struggles. Success has many rewards that go far beyond a huge pay day. Everyone benefits when you succeed: family, friends, your community, your employees. Your mental health improves. You gain confidence in the skills you developed during your journey. Success is a magnet, drawing other successful people to you. They bring with them their contacts and unique opportunities to make more money. It takes courage pursuing success. This courage becomes automatic, however, once you find something you are passionate about.

Life has a way of throwing wrenches into our day. How many of you raise your hands in frustration at the end of a work day because the 3 or 4 things you wanted to get done were somehow replaced by unanticipated disruptions. Unanticipated disruptions happen. Sometimes they happen too often. These disruptions have a psychological affect on us. They can drip into our subconscious and eventually form the belief that we have no control over our life. Once formed, this belief puts on its work hat, telling us, subconsciously, that we are not in control of our day.  This belief causes us to feel helpless. Feeling helpless is the #1 common cause of depression.

But there’s a solution. There’s a way to take back control of your life and kill the roots to that negative belief. It’s called the 5 am Club. Getting up at 5 am to tackle the top 3 things you want to accomplish in your day allows you to regain control of your day. It gives you a sense of confidence that you direct your life. It gives you a feeling of power over your life. It puts the reigns of “your'” life back into “your” hands.

Getting up at 5am is a daily habit. It will take time to form this daily habit. This is one of those Keystone Habits I like to talk about. Keystone Habits are the most powerful type of habits because of their impact on your life. One strategy to help you develop this 5 am Club habit is to find someone to join your 5 am Club and hold you accountable. Someone who will be there, waiting and looking for you at 5 am, will force you to overcome the urge to sleep in. Start your 5 am Club tomorrow. Find an accountability partner, someone who will join your 5 am Club. You’ll regain control of your life and it will make you feel better about yourself. You’ll gain confidence that life is within your control and it will end your feeling of helplessness.